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Supporting our Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Airmen, and Coast Guardsmen at more than 1,000 places across the U. S. and around the world.
SALUTE!
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Today's FEEBLE
YOKE :
There was a man who computed his taxes for 2005 & found that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:
Dear IRS:
Enclosed is my 2005 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029).
This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and "screwdrivers."
NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said. The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him. "It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP. "After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.
"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Thanks for today's thread Bro!
Another MIXED BAG of MUSIC!
Dizzie Gillespie - I'm In A Mess
Da Brat & Tyrese - What'Chu Like
Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance
Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone
Debelah Morgan - Dance With Me
Dizzie Gillespie - Swing Low, Sweet Cadillac
Lil Bow Wow & Xscape - Bounce With Me
Dixie Chicks - Cowboy Take Me Away
Dizzie Gillespie - They Can't Take That Away From Me
Destiny's Child - Independent Women
Samantha Mumba - Gotta Tell You
Jennifer Lopez - Waiting For Tonight
Mary Mary - Shackles (Praise You)
Enya - Gladiator Theme - Now We Are Free
Dizzie Gillespie - Oh! Lady Be Good
I remember an episode where Fred and Ricky tried to make some bread, put too much yeast in the mix, and this long loaf of bread came shooting out of the oven...also the one where they went to Hollywood and Lucy stole John Wayne's footprints.
The Word
"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer."--Psalm 4:1
The Quote
"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." --Calvin Coolidge
The Joke
LOSS OF AN ICON
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
The Hero--Todays Medal of Honor Recipient
Rank and organization: Watertender, U.S. Navy
Born: 1861, Ireland
Accredited to: New York
Awarded: 1 November 1897
Citation: On board the U.S.S. Puritan at the time of the collapse of one of the crown sheets of boiler E of that vessel, 1 July 1897. Wrapped in wet cloths to protect his face and arms, Ahern entered the fireroom, crawled over the tops of the boilers and closed the auxiliary stop valve, disconnecting boiler E and removing the danger of disabling the other boilers.
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Uh Oh, Crazy Tom's here . . . we must be near the weekend . . .enjoy!!!
Prayers going up.
Many thanks to all FReepers who sent prayers and kindest wishes when I lost my father, Robert, this past Friday. A veteran of WWII and Korea, a loving husband, father, grandfather and a great American.
We laid him to rest yesterday, with full military honors.
They say that it doesn't really hit home until the 21-gun-salute.
I can verify that.
Thanks again and God bless you all.
BTLD
Suppose a boss were to say to an employee, "We really appreciate what you're doing around here, but we've decided to change the way we pay you. Starting today, we're going to pay you laterafter you retire." Would the employee jump for joy? Of course not. That's not the way things work in this world. We like our payment nowor at least every payday. Did you know that God promises to "pay" us latermuch later? And He asks us to be happy about it! Jesus suggested that our ultimate reward for the good things we do in His name comes after we die. In Luke 14, Jesus said that if we care for the poor, the lame, and the blind, our reward for such kindness will come at the resurrection of the righteous (Luke 14:14). He also said that if we are persecuted, we should "rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed [our] reward is great in heaven" (6:22-23). Surely, the Lord gives us comfort, love, and guidance today, but what wonderful things He has planned for us in the future! This may not be the way we would have planned it; we don't enjoy waiting for things. But imagine how glorious it will be when we receive our rewards in Jesus' presence. What a grand time we'll have as we enjoy what God has reserved for later. Dave Branon
Eternal blessings with Christ my Lord; Earth's weeping ended, earth's trials over, Sweet rest in Jesus, O blest reward! Gilmore What is done for Christ in this life will be rewarded in the life to come.
Is There Life After Death? |