LOL! Gee Fiddlstix, if only it were that easy!J
Bump
I don't care who you are.....
That's funny, right there now....
:)
I always thought it would be cool if WE could itemize what we want our taxes to be used for before sending them out to the IRS. I would be way more okay with paying taxes if this were the case. Maybe they could include a bubble sheet, and we could just fill in the circles for the things we want our tax dollars to go toward. I know I'm dreaming. In a perfect world...
:)
LOL! Gee Fiddlstix, if only it were that easy!Pretty good vanity.....I give it high marks for timeliness and because Snoopy is always cute and clever. Kinda like you, fidd.
Here's something a bit similar, from Britain.
The Guardian isn't good for much, but at least they produced this:
Funny money
by Chris Addison
Saturday September 27, 2003
The Guardian
There follows the text of a letter which I received last Wednesday, second post:
Dear Mr Addison, I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more-than-prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.
I will address them, as ever, in order.
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at the Inland Revenue, have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.
In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.
Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores", whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system".
A couple of technical points arising from direct queries: 1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system; 2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please forward it by Friday. Yours sincerely, H J Lee, Customer Relations.
Somebody sent me a video today that I would love to share but I don't know how to get it from the puter to the forum.
That was great...Loved it.
Dear IRS,
Enjoy your bloodsucking this year because it will probably be your last.
Yours truly,
HR-25 (Fairtax)
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.
Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his ass
Tax the roads he must pass.
Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.
Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!
Author Unknown
"I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money." -- Arthur Godfrey
My sentiments, too.
I have never been chastised in such a diplomatic and professional manner. Guess I had it coming.
Saw this in the paper today. I really related.
Could you add the "Pennsylvania Department of Revenue" to that list please?