[Blood of Tyrants]

A human has got only a prayer of a chance against an adult male chimp.

[thoughtomator]

Maybe they should have gotten a clue when it bit off part of a woman's finger 6 years ago. Idiots. Birthday parties for chimps? How stupid can you get?

[martin_fierro]

Deadtime for Bonzo.

[Texas_Jarhead]

"St. James Davis had severe facial injuries and would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose, Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield. His testicles and a foot also were severed, Kern County Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian."
Yikes

[Brilliant]

What? No trial?

[BrianCG]

"His testicles and a foot also were severed"

GOOD GOD...I have an idea, the army's new battalion of bunker busting testicle craving anti-terror unit

[WorkingClassFilth]

Monkeys are funny.

[hershey]

Whenever people anthropomorphize animals, they do animals (dogs, chimps, cats, whatever), a profound disservice and end up suffering the consequences.

[bill1952]

I'm waiting for PETA to say that we have no more right to live than a vicious chimp, and that shooting it was a criminal act.

[SerpentDove]

Here in Dallas, when police shot the escaped gorilla (who also attacked), the enviroweeinies held a candlelight vigil for the dear departed ape.

I can only imagine what will happen in California.

[jec41]

Moe instigated this. He had a history of finger biting.
Probably told the others , look guys there are a couple of chumps (not to be confused with chimps) coming to celebrate my birthday and I want them severely dealt with. I came out of the wilds and they got my birthday wrong and two they got me in this cage. I demand justice.

[Bon mots]

Idiots. Birthday parties for chimps? How stupid can you get?

With cake no less.

I can hear the Daddy chimp now... "CAKE? YOU BROUGHT CAKE FOR HIM BUT NOT ME???? I ought to rip your %^&## off... and..."

[em2vn]

"He saw what was happening and had one kind of weapon with him and then got another he felt would be more substantial and shot them," Martarano said. "He pretty much saved a life."
Was this sentence constructed in a remedial composition class?

[rabidralph]

Moe was not involved in Thursday's attack,

Obviously, a contract hit.

[evets]

Happy Birthday Moe

[Ragnar54]

Buddy, a 16-year-old male chimp, initiated the attack and after he was shot, Ollie, a 13-year-old male, grabbed the gravely injured man and dragged him down the road, authorities said.

According to SCOTUS, neither one was old enough to qualify for a death sentence.

[meandog]

A water hose against a chimp is as effective as a shotgun...pity they had to be shot due to the ignorance of human involvement with unsocialized animals! Incidentally, Cheetah, the chimp in all the Tarzan movies reportedly was devoted to Johnny Wisemuller and Ron Eli but couldn't stand the female co-stars.

[OrioleFan]

I thought this was another Michael Jackson story...

[primatreat]

All people who think a grown chimp is cute, even a baby can tear the hell out of you. Most of the babies you see are doped up. One got loose in a Philly news room in the '80s trashed it faster than you can imagine. Putting aged chimps in camps is ok but to bring "cakes" to them when they are put around others that have returned to "primal" is a candidate for a Darwin award. A vet in my trade was moving one chimp to a transfer cage. He was attacked worse that this person. Chimps chew appendages of in the blink of an eye.

[Ranxerox]

Never bring a cake to a chimp fight.

I know, I know, but somebody was gonna say it...