Girl Bullies' Quiet Style Of Brutality

SFGate ^ | March 1, 2005 | C.W. Nevius

[srm913]

Girls are sneaky.

It happens daily to teenagers, from the tough street girls to the trendy, well-to-do fashionistas. It isn't anything obvious or -- God forbid -- physical, nothing that would ruffle a perfect ponytail. Even teachers on the lookout for it may not know it has happened.

It is just a word, or two. A look. A wink. And then they're gone. No marks, no bruises. Girls aren't like that. They don't fight. They aren't crude or loud.

They are quiet ... and mean.

We all know about bullies -- boys who intimidate their peers, throw a punch, bump books to the ground and shove kids into the wall. They're big and loud. They taunt their victims and dare them to fight back. It's easy to catch.

But do you know what a girl bully looks like?

She's likely to be popular, nicely dressed, every hair in place. And, particularly when speaking to grownups, she may have impeccable manners. Her parents probably have no idea she's one of the mean girls at school.

"They are so subtle,'' says Canadian playwright Joan MacLeod. "They do it through exclusion, innuendo and rumors.''

[srm913]

My first (and LAST) blind date certainly fit the bill! Yikes!

[Windsong]

Have 5 nieces...all sinister devils too.

[OldFriend]

The teacher's KNOW.

[rockabyebaby]

Let's see how many women defend this behavior, you know the usual excuse like, she's misunderstood, or she has "issues". These teenagers grow up to be whiney b*tches that roam the earth!

[TalBlack]

It is just a word, or two. A look. A wink. And then they're gone. No marks, no bruises. Girls aren't like that. They don't fight. They aren't crude or loud.

"They do it through exclusion, innuendo and rumors.''

Uh, big deal? This is "bullying"? No it isn't. Guys will do a lot of the same crap. So what?

[Vaquero]

CAT FIGHT!!!!!

[Not A Snowbird]

Let's see how many women defend this behavior, you know the usual excuse like, she's misunderstood, or she has "issues". These teenagers grow up to be whiney b*tches that roam the earth!

You won't find me defending it. Unfortunately, I see my daughter in this article. I've watched her in action behind the scenes, a little honey here, a little bile there, a whispered word, and voila! Destroyed frendships. It's sad.

[rockabyebaby]

LMAO! Love your tagline, pajama duchess!!

Sorry about your daughter, hopefully she will realize what she's doing.

[Lee Heggy]

"Girls are sneaky."

DUH!

[Arpege92]

My little sister was bullied by one particular little _itch in high school. Shoving her into a locker, knocking her books out of her hands, and forcing her to leave a movie theater in tears. That's when this bigger sister got involved. Let's just say I let this _itch know that her behavior would not be tolerated by me. The look on her face was priceless!!!!!

[mlmr]

Character is difficult to form but essential.

[MetalHeadConservative35]

My little sister was bullied by one particular little _itch in high school. Shoving her into a locker, knocking her books out of her hands, and forcing her to leave a movie theater in tears. That's when this bigger sister got involved. Let's just say I let this _itch know that her behavior would not be tolerated by me. The look on her face was priceless!!!!!

my 14 year old sister was jumped by a boy...my sister dropped him with one kick to the groin (wearing boots steel toe muahaha)

im so proud of her...my little sister is an awesome artist and smart girl,and the kids at school always mess with her,but i dont think its a problem anymore

[ClearCase_guy]

This theory that girls are sneaky may have some merit.

My own theory is that men are sometimes insensitive. However, to fully explore this and reach a definite conclusion, I will need a government grant. A very LARGE government grant.

[rabidralph]

And, particularly when speaking to grownups, she may have impeccable manners.

The Bad Seed

[BubbaTex]

A possible cause of this is so called "zero tolerance" in schools nowdays. Direct action gets students thrown out of school

My wife was a tiny little thing in High School. She had a dear friend who was awkward tubby, poor, wore glasses and was a very nice person.

Her friend was continually picked on by one of the "perfect" girls and her lackeys.

One day at school little miss perfect made my wifes friend cry in front of everyone. Last time she ever did something like that to anyone again.

My wife grabbed "miss perfects" hair, spun her around twice and slammed the bullys head into a locker.

Consequences: Big dent in locker, bully laying stunned on the floor of the hallway, bully had two black eyes and a bloody nose and by wife had a big handful of hair that used to be attached to the bullys head. Two day suspension for both of them. (Early 70's.)

Love those Texas gals!

[Mr. Jeeves]

"They are so subtle,'' says Canadian playwright Joan MacLeod. "They do it through exclusion, innuendo and rumors.''

That's Maureen Dowd...except she needs to work on the subtlety part. ;)

[Not A Snowbird]

Sorry about your daughter, hopefully she will realize what she's doing.

Thanks! :-) We've tried to talk to her about it, but we might as well be talking to the cat for all the good it does. She's one of these teens that has to learn everything the hard way.

[Not A Snowbird]

Character is difficult to form but essential.

Character is THE most important thing we can teach her at this age. I just wish she wasn't so stubborn; if she would just listen to us she could avoid alot of hard knocks later.

Gosh. I sound like my mother. ;-)

[One Proud Son]

I hate it when nice girls are looked down upon for taking matters into their own hands and saying something to these little demons, then getting in trouble for it.

[Explorer89]

These girls learn it young, and they learn it at home. I have watched kindergarten girls get very mean and ugly to the other little girls just because they are little prima donnas. "YOU aren't my friend anymore!" I'm sorry, but where does a 5 year old learn this except at home, getting every single thing their precious little heart desires? It is so ugly to watch the delight they take in making others feel like crap.