Skip to comments.French Python hits London stage (Repent! The Apocolypse is at hand!)
Posted on 01/28/2005 5:55:37 AM PST by presidio9
If nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, then how about Monty Python's surreal humour brought to a London stage, in French, with English surtitles?
That is exactly what a French troupe has done in the first and only authorised stage version of the television series that earned Monty Python international cult status.
"It is like we have been adopted as knights of Camelot," said producer Remy Renoux, referring to "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in which French soldiers taunt King Arthur and his companions with insults like "Your mother was a hamster!"
"If Python fans are a little anxious they should be reassured by the fact that the fathers of the series have adopted this version," he added.
Two of the original Pythons, Michael Palin and Terry Gilliam, approved of the hit show after seeing it in Paris and the rest of the ensemble have since given it their blessing.
"Frankly, it's better than we could do at the time. The text? Obviously inferior! The actors? Better than we were," decreed Gilliam when he saw the Paris performance.
The show, at London's Riverside Studios until February 19, features 25 sketches, including some of the most famous.
"The Dead Parrot" becomes "Le Perroquet Mort" and "The Ministry of Silly Walks" is renamed "Le Ministere des Marches Ridicules".
Renoux said that a surprising number of routines could be translated into French, despite the widespread perception that Monty Python is quintessentially English.
"The thing that is easy about Monty Python and the sense of humour they developed is that the French audience is used to surrealism and absurdity," he said.
"But there is a question of choice as well. A few sketches are not appropriate and some are so British, like the ones about the Queen."
I would have thought the French would have come out with a stage version of "The Nutty Professor" or "The Disorderly Orderly" first.
Start a new day, learn a new word!
Hey, that is a great ad -- "since Dracula invented Bloody Marys" -- better than the movie itself. Thanks for posting!! (You don't have anything for "The Errand Boy" or "The Patsy" do you?)
Know what I mean, eh? Know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
One only needs to look at their political system to know that.
From the root wood, "surly", no doubt. It fits!
I hear the actors have the smell of elder berries.
No doubt they do the Lumberjack song. Naturally.
Are you looking for an argument?
Why would you need subtitles?
In fairness, I don't think it's quite the end of the world. If the Pythons gave their blessing, it can't be that bad. Afterall, Hollywood has been butchering British shows for years.
A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
So you don't have any cheese?
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons,
sovereign of all England!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have
ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your
lord and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're
bangin' 'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered
this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house
martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these
are not strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a
simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not
carry a 1 pound coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your
master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a
swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
GUARD #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?
We don't get much call for cheddar around these parts sir.
Sorry guys, I only meant to copy and paste the French Knight scene, somehow all of that came along with it.
Fun reading though, makes me laugh even on paper, even after having seen the movie like 25 times!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.