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Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free porn and candy? (Morford)
SFGate.com ^ | December 15 2004 | Mark Morford (hot for Sven Robinson)

Posted on 12/15/2004 10:26:23 AM PST by RightWingAtheist

Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north? Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed maniacally and tossed around bucketfuls of ultrathin condoms and little travel-size packets of Astroglide like confetti while riding his Harley Softail up to Toronto or maybe Edmonton to join the ghastly and sodomitic celebrations?

Because it's happened. Canada's high court just ruled that the government can, if it so desires, redefine marriage to include gay couples, which it has declared it will do almost immediately, thus solidifying Canada's place as the chilly yet mellow and gay friendly and hockey-riffic epicenter of all known hell.

It's true. It's rather amazing. Gay marriage will be completely legal in Canada very soon. It's been oddly ignored in much of the U.S. media and hasn't really been much discussed among those in the terrified red states except when, deep in the night, from their respective lumpy twin beds, they whisper to each other across the room as they pop their Ambien and stroke their portfolios and curse their very genitals: oh my God what's wrong with those freakin' Canadians?

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: California
KEYWORDS: 3dollarbill; 42yrlifeexpectancy; adamandsteve; aidsfactory; aidsgayplague; aidskillmorforddead; aidskillsfagsdead; aidspetridish; aidsrelateddimentia; americahaters; aproctologistsdream; armageddon; assinine; astroglide; badcrampsthisweek; bareback; barebackrider; barf; bathhouseboogie; bathhousebutt; bendovergreeksailor; biggaymark; blamecanada; blitheringidiot; bluestatebuttboy; bonesmuggler; browntonguer; bufubro; bugchaser; bugchaserorgiftgiver; buggerer; bushco; buttmunch; buttpirate; cakeboy; canukistan; catcherandpitcher; cavernousrectum; circlejerker; cityoffruitsandnuts; clintongetsapass; colonblow; colonisknotted; corker; cornholer; culatonni; daddylikesomesausage; derrierediver; dontaskdonttell; dontdropthesoap; dowdismoreofaman; dudewheresmypenis; epluribussmokepot; explosivegonorrhea; festeringarselesions; fifi; filmactorsguild; flamer; foofoo; formeranalvirgin; friendofdorothy; frinedofdorth; funwithkeywords; garlandfan; gaydaroffthecharts; genitalpolitics; gerbilking; gerbilsripmyflesh; girlieman; girlyman; glbtq; googargler; gravelincolon; greatcornholio; haha; hedontusejelly; herandnowobsession; herpesflareup; hersheyhero; hersheyhighway; heterophobia; hystericalhussy; ifeelprettyosopretty; itamericasfault; itsrainingmen; kerrydefeat; kerrylostgetoverit; lemmiwinks; lifesupplyofdepends; lightinloafers; limpwrist; littlegaymark; littlemissmorford; loosespinchter; mancrushonbush; mandatorybarfalert; manholedigger; manonmanaction; mba; mcgreeverymorford08; mcgreeveymorford08; mcgreevyfan; morford; morfordite; movetocanadaalready; mrslavepostion7; myasshurts; mybumisonyourlips; nambla; namblachartermember; nancyboy; nastystd; nealandbob; noroomtoshoveit; onetrackmind; onleggedstool; oprahwatcher; otherteamer; outoflubricant; perversion; petulantpolegobbler; pickleslurper; picklesmoker; pillowbiteragenda; pissypoofter; polesmoker; politicalcorrectness; poopshooter; praytheresnogodmark; princesschlamydia; putthebongdown; queerasdope; queerassfolk; rectalherniasrock; rectalrooter; richardgereshouseboy; rimshooter; rodrammer; romeoandromeo; rumpranger; ryhmeswithitchy; sandinhisvagina; sandinthevaseline; sanfranciscotreat; sanfransodomite; selfloathingpervert; slipperywhenwet; sodomy; someofushaveballs; spitballsonthechin; spitsonyourback; stdfactory; stephengeoffreysfan; streisandfan; suckitmark; takinhersheyhighway; talentlessfaggot; theclap; thehersheyhighway; thesylph; thisthreadisgay; timeforanenema; tinkywinky; tinman; tossingthesalad; typhoidmark; vaseline; venerealdisease; verbaldiarrhea; villageperson; waaaaaaaaa; waylonsmithers; whattheleftwants; whiteswallow; yeahmarkswallowit; yellowcakedpanties; ymca; youareallgirliemen; youreahomo
Mark Morford, ladies and gentlemen. If he didn't exist, FReepers would have to invent him.

Note to Mods: the title had to be shortened in order to post.

1 posted on 12/15/2004 10:26:24 AM PST by RightWingAtheist
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To: RightWingAtheist

The psycho spews forth his venom, as usual. This guy really needs to get a grip.


2 posted on 12/15/2004 10:28:53 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: exnavychick

If I'm not mistaken, I think he would actually like the free pot and drugs next. Better to dull his mind and help him deal with the tragedy which is his life.


3 posted on 12/15/2004 10:30:41 AM PST by bpjam (I don't know what a neo-con is and neither does anybody else.)
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To: RightWingAtheist
"What's next, free porn and candy?"

Sign me up!!! /sarcasm

Hey Satan rides a softail, so does my husband. People say he looks like Satan. Go figure.

4 posted on 12/15/2004 10:30:51 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!)
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To: RightWingAtheist

On the one hand, he's infuriating. On the other, he's good for a laugh. And he just makes the left's problems so obvious and clear.


5 posted on 12/15/2004 10:31:55 AM PST by susiek
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To: RightWingAtheist
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...

Do I hafta?

6 posted on 12/15/2004 10:32:03 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: bpjam

Maybe it would make for more interesting articles, lol. He'd probably be a lot less hostile if he were tokin' some reefer while he wrote it.

BWAHAHAHA!


7 posted on 12/15/2004 10:32:11 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: RightWingAtheist

Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, he becomes more unhinged from reality.


8 posted on 12/15/2004 10:33:28 AM PST by TheBigB (Smartass remarks $5.00...with extra pithiness $2.00 more!)
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To: RightWingAtheist

Ms Morford needs her thorazine suppostories stat!


9 posted on 12/15/2004 10:35:40 AM PST by gopwinsin04
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To: exnavychick

I read the entire article, and it didn't seem very venemous to me.


10 posted on 12/15/2004 10:36:50 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: stuartcr

He usually is...so I guess I see things that aren't there, lol.


11 posted on 12/15/2004 10:37:44 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: RightWingAtheist

I could go for free candy. Especially chocolate


12 posted on 12/15/2004 10:38:26 AM PST by rogers21774 (The guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.)
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To: gopwinsin04

Help! I'm trapped inside Mark Morford!

13 posted on 12/15/2004 10:38:27 AM PST by RightWingAtheist (Marxism-the creationism of the left)
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To: stuartcr

But I must add that he still is inserting sexual overtones to his article, and that is just wearisome. He needs a new shtick.


14 posted on 12/15/2004 10:38:36 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: exnavychick

I've never read anything of his before, but in this article, much of it sounds accurate.


15 posted on 12/15/2004 10:38:40 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: exnavychick

Without going point by point, I think I have an easy answer for him: Move to Canada, you raving lunatic.


16 posted on 12/15/2004 10:39:05 AM PST by phelanw
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To: stuartcr

Google him, or check out his archives...it's eye opening!


17 posted on 12/15/2004 10:39:27 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: phelanw

I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy...he wouldn't live long enough for them to get the full effect, LOL!


18 posted on 12/15/2004 10:40:18 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: exnavychick

I guarantee you, you'll have to pry that boy's "gun" from his cold, dead hands.


19 posted on 12/15/2004 10:40:27 AM PST by Old Professer (The accidental trumps the purposeful in every endeavor attended by the incompetent.)
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To: exnavychick

I guess it helps make a living.


20 posted on 12/15/2004 10:42:25 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: Old Professer

Ewwwww! I didn't need a visual like that just before lunch!


21 posted on 12/15/2004 10:43:15 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: Vic3O3; cavtrooper21

Dang! I agree with Morford on something! Paris Hilton is a cancer upon society!

Semper Fi


22 posted on 12/15/2004 10:47:13 AM PST by dd5339 (A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path.)
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To: RightWingAtheist
Why aren't they scared to death like whiny red-state Americans?

I haven't heard much whining coming out of our side lately. What a loser. I whine to no one.

23 posted on 12/15/2004 10:50:57 AM PST by vpintheak (Liberal = The antithesis of Freedom and Patriotism)
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To: exnavychick

Well, I read 5 of his articles, and while I can see how his writing style could offend some people, I think that many of the points he attempts to make, are spot on.


24 posted on 12/15/2004 10:51:53 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: stuartcr

Go ahead and name a few of them for us. We must have missed them.


25 posted on 12/15/2004 10:52:38 AM PST by phelanw
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To: RightWingAtheist

Whether they legalize gay marriage in Canada or not is of little concern. Last I checked, we didn't gauge our laws by what courts in Canada do.

What is far more interesting is that fact that the only state in the Union that has legalized gay marriage thus far may be overturning that ruling by removing the four judges that created gay marriage.

http://www.massnews.com/2004_editions/12_dec/121404_all_legistlators_notified_that_Dimasi_Agrees_to_Vote.htm

When they are removed, their ruling goes down with them.


26 posted on 12/15/2004 10:55:04 AM PST by francke
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To: stuartcr

Maybe so, but I cannot get past his writing style. To me, his "message" gets lost in all the unnecessary sexual verbiage.

That being said, I still don't agree with most of the stuff of his that I have read.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. :)


27 posted on 12/15/2004 10:55:35 AM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: phelanw

They are listed on the right side of his column if you go to the above mentioned link.


28 posted on 12/15/2004 11:06:24 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: exnavychick

Roger that.


29 posted on 12/15/2004 11:08:07 AM PST by stuartcr
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Comment #30 Removed by Moderator

To: RightWingAtheist

He concludes the article with "What's wrong with us?"

The real question is what's wrong with him. If he thinks that Canada is so great, nothing's stopping him from going there unless he has a felony arrest. It would be a win-win; he gets to live in the society of his fantasies and we get rid of him.


31 posted on 12/15/2004 11:55:30 AM PST by RBroadfoot
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To: dd5339

Yep.


32 posted on 12/15/2004 11:55:58 AM PST by RBroadfoot
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To: exnavychick
Morford has got a grip ...

on her boyfriends !@#$@$^(*

33 posted on 12/15/2004 12:09:01 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: exnavychick
His style is his message. There are some deranged folks who agree with his message.
34 posted on 12/15/2004 12:11:56 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

Hence the word message in quotes in my post. :)


35 posted on 12/15/2004 12:16:38 PM PST by exnavychick (Just my two cents, as usual.)
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To: stuartcr

No, really. Be specific. She is a drug-addled liberal faggot. What do points do you agree with her on?


36 posted on 12/15/2004 4:38:12 PM PST by No Surrender Monkey
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To: RightWingAtheist

Why in God's name won't he MOVE THERE IF IT'S UTOPIA?!?!?!

Jeez these canadian loving americans all one thing in common. They never ever go there!


37 posted on 12/15/2004 4:42:33 PM PST by G32
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To: RightWingAtheist; 1380 KTKZ Sacramento; annalex; AVNevis; blaze; ElkGroveDan; glennaro; Godzilla; ..
AB 19

(e) The highest courts in three states have held that denying the legal rights and obligations of marriage to same-sex couples is constitutionally suspect or impermissible under their respective state constitutions. These states are Hawaii, Vermont, and Massachusetts. The highest courts in seven Canadian provinces have similarly ruled that marriage laws that discriminate in favor of different-sex couples to the exclusion of same-sex couples violate the rights of same-sex couples and cannot stand.

(f) California's discriminatory exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage violates the California Constitution's guarantee of due process, privacy, equal protection of the law, and free expression, by arbitrarily denying equal marriage rights to lesbian, gay, and bisexual Californians.

(g) California's discriminatory exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage harms same-sex couples and their families by denying those couples and their families specific legal rights and responsibilities under state law and by depriving members of those couples and their families of a legal basis to challenge federal laws that deny access to the many important federal benefits and obligations provided only to spouses. Those federal benefits include the right to file joint federal income tax returns, the right to sponsor a partner for immigration to the United States, the right to social security survivor's benefits, the right to family and medical leave, and many other substantial benefits and obligations.

(h) Other jurisdictions have chosen to treat as valid or otherwise recognize marriages between same-sex couples. California's discriminatory marriage law therefore also harms California's same-sex couples when they travel to other jurisdictions by preventing them from having access to the rights, benefits, and protections those jurisdictions provide only to married couples.

(i) California's discriminatory exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage further harms same-sex couples and their families by denying them the unique public recognition and affirmation that marriage confers on heterosexual couples.

38 posted on 12/15/2004 10:31:10 PM PST by farmfriend ( In Essentials, Unity...In Non-Essentials, Liberty...In All Things, Charity.)
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To: 1380 KTKZ Sacramento; annalex; AVNevis; blaze; ElkGroveDan; glennaro; Godzilla; dynamitehack; ...
BILL NUMBER: SCA 1
INTRODUCED BY Senator Morrow

This measure would amend the California Constitution to provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California, as specified. The measure would further limit the provision of the rights, responsibilities, benefits, and obligations of marriage to a man and a woman, as specified.

39 posted on 12/15/2004 10:35:58 PM PST by farmfriend ( In Essentials, Unity...In Non-Essentials, Liberty...In All Things, Charity.)
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To: No Surrender Monkey

I didn't realise that Mark was a female.
Here are a few of the specifics I agree on, I'm not going to go back through the archives.

-I agree with the author that sex is going to happen, no matter what any group condones.
-I agree that we will look back on some of the things that today are considered taboo, and chuckle or sigh.
-I agree that Kinsey should not be compared to Dr. Mengele.
-I agree that progress always wins.
-I agree that many must always be dragged into the future.
-I agree that we do not see many pictures from Fallujah on our news, and that the government does not want us to see them.
-I agree that unless you have been there, we do not know what is going on in Iraq.
-I agree that we do not know the real statistics on civilian casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan.
-I agree that many Americans are taking some sort of drug on a regular basis, I also agree that many probably do not need them.
-I agree that artistic integrity is being manipulated into commercialism.
-I agree that Canada is a decent place, with decent citizens.

Now, please list the specifics that you do not agree on.


40 posted on 12/16/2004 6:00:28 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: RightWingAtheist
What's next, free porn and candy?

I like to steal porn right out of the hands of children.

I'm evil.

41 posted on 12/16/2004 6:05:19 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: stuartcr

I happen to be Canadian myself, but I tire of people thinking that it's a great big blue state. Their opinion is based solely on their impressions of parts of Quebec, Ontario, and the major cities in the Western provinces (particularly Vancouver and Winnipeg).


42 posted on 12/16/2004 11:35:19 AM PST by RightWingAtheist (Marxism-the creationism of the left)
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To: RightWingAtheist

You're right.


43 posted on 12/16/2004 11:45:12 AM PST by stuartcr
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To: stuartcr

Geuss what? Rape is "going to happen, no matter what any group condones." If progress allways wins, what happend in the last election. Sexual morals wax and wane. Compare the 70's (or, for that matter, the 20's) to the nineties. Right now, we are approaching low tide. The government has no control over what gets on the news. If it did, Watergate wouldn't have happened. The newtworks choose not to show us graphic pictures, because they feel that the majority of the audience doesn't want to see them. However, they DO play up the negative stories and ignore the feel good ones, because they think doom and gloom is more interesting. Canada, on the other hand DOES censor the News. Openly. Fox news is not allowed. And satellite TV is illegal. Just to make sure nobody stumbles across it by accident. Kinsey was an admitted pedophile. I DO agree that we are over medicated, but then I don't even take aspirin. Morford glorifies crystal meth use in several other columns.


44 posted on 12/17/2004 10:56:04 AM PST by No Surrender Monkey
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To: No Surrender Monkey

OK, thanks.


45 posted on 12/17/2004 11:05:06 AM PST by stuartcr
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