Posted on 12/13/2004 12:52:49 PM PST by crushkerry
As another new feature on Crushkerry.com we have decided to issue the Judge Elihu Smails Award every week.
Who? Judge Elihu Smails, the character in the film Caddyshack who asks of the obnoxious but lovable Al Czervick (played by Rodney Dangerfield), “good Lord, what has this buffoon done now?”
As a special tribute to Judge Smails, every week we will issue this award to the biggest buffoon of the week … the person who, through his or her actions or public statements, has made a buffoon of themselves and everyone associated with them. Please note that since we slam Kerry on a daily basis, and he could win every week,he and his family are ineligible for this prestigeous award. We also ask Kerry Crushers to send in your nominations (no limits, so keep them coming). All we ask is that you tell us why you’re nominating the person, and include a link to any relevant stories.
After a few week hiatus, the Buffoon of the Week Award returns. In a first for this award, it's not going to a politician or a pundit, but rather, a pollster. Congratulations, JOHN ZOGBY!!! We hope this award makes up for the fact that you'll not be winning any awards for polling anytime soon.
The luster's been off this turkey for a while, but since the media swooned over him it was pretty well hidden. All you have to do is go back to the 2002 Senate races, where he had an abysmal record, yet continued to live off of a reputation spawned by the media and the Zogby promotion machine.
Zogby really went off the deep end when he declared in spring, 2004, that the race was "Kerry's to lose". Perhaps Zogby was wishful thinking for his brother, who is an apologist for terrorist organizations. It was perhaps the first time we've ever heard of an "Independent" pollster make such a proclamation so far out. And damn if he didn't do everything he could to make it come true.
But it's his performance on election day and thereafter that really earned him this award. First, in an almost unprecedented step, Zogby didn't release his "final prediction" till 5 pm on Election Day, after the first batch of exit polls came out. It was then that this great supposedly independent, super brave prognosticator- dared to go out on such a long limb (well after every other outfit had made their call- declared that Kerry would get 311 Electoral Votes, with Nevada and Colorado being too close to call. We're sure that at that time Zogby, safe in his "all-knowing" chair was getting congratulatory calls from his brother and the rest of the malcontents at CAIR, etc. and lighting the victory cigar.
Then a funny thing happened - the real votes actually started coming in, and once and for all we saw the "Emperor" had no clothes, and that this egomaniac was really a fake phony fraud. But Zogby, in his infinite hubris, posted congratulations on his site lauding himself for his faulty predictions.
Instead of crawling under a rock like anyone else would have done, or trying to explain the problem, King John came out swinging -at election officials. You see just this week this arrogant buffoon sent his communication director to the faux hearings being held by extreme radicals who cling to the theory that the Ohio vote was stolen. No word yet on whether or not they believe in a flat earth. And Zogby had the nerve to say "My polling was very, very good and extremely accurate". Rather than be a man and admit he was wrong, he did what any typical liberal would do - blamed someone else.
And to show further, what a pernicious twit he is, his latest poll determined that Santa Claus would be a Democrat, and Scrooge a Republican. Just shut up already John - but enjoy your award!!
Past Winners:
Ted "I Killed a Woman Once" Kennedy
Eddie "UN Inspectors in Florida" Bernice Johnson
Kendrick "Johnny Soprano" Meek
Howard "The Terror Alerts Are Political" Dean
Bruce "I'm a Washed Up Bush Hater" Springsteen
Chrissy "I Squat To Pee" Matthews
Al "HE BETRAYED US!!!!!" Gore
Dan "What's The Forgery, Kenneth?" Rather
Joe "Allawi's a Puppet" Lockhart
Charlie "I Voted For the Draft-Before I Voted Against It" Rangel
Jimmy "The Revolutionary War Was Unnecessary" Carter
Walter "Rove Made the Bin Laden Tape" Cronkite and Bill "It's a Coup I Tell You" Moyers
Kofi "Don't Bother the Terrorists" Annan and Dustin "Let's Smell Their A$$es" Hoffman
Ping
You should listen to these losers in the Massachusetts Electoral College talk about "counting every vote" and "election reform"...each one a viable candidate.
"I sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it, felt I owed it to them." - Judge Smails
"You'll Get Nothing And Like It!!!"
"Well, the World Needs Ditch Diggers Too!!!"
So many more.
I cannot even count the number of times I have seen some or all of Caddyshack, and every time it is Ted Knight that steals the show for me. That has to be about the funniest role he ever did, and given the whole Ted Baxter thing, that is saying a lot.
"Don't you people have homes?"
It's easy to grin,
When your ship comes in,
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
How'd you like to come mow my lawn?
"How About a Fresca?"
"The Man's a Menace!!"
"Did You Hear the One About the Jew, the Catholic and the Colored Boy Who Went To Heaven?"
"Chop Chop"
"Spaulding! Get your foot off the boat!"
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