Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

‘Crossfire' Gets Ruffed Up (rubber dog head smarter than Tucker Carlson)
The Day ^ | 11/3/2004 | LISA DEMORAES

Posted on 11/03/2004 9:41:21 AM PST by martin_fierro

‘Crossfire' Gets Ruffed Up

By LISA DEMORAES

Published on 11/3/2004

Looking for a way to put to rest any talk that “The Daily Show” faux anchor Jon Stewart had gotten the best of them when he was a guest on their show, “Crossfire's” Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson had Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hand puppet on Monday, the final full day of the presidential race.

“Regular viewers of this show — both of you — know that occasionally our guests come on and insult the hosts, so we thought we'd wind up this very nasty campaign by interviewing the Abbot of Abuse, the Viceroy of Vicious, the Pope of Putdowns, the Idol of Insults,” Begala began, indicating this was going to be a comedy bit.

“Stop Hurting America!” Triumph, aka right arm of comic Robert Smigel, shouted, mirroring comments Stewart made when he got into his own dogfight on the show, calling Carlson a “(male pride)” but only after Carlson had twice called him Sen. John Kerry's “butt boy.”

Carlson, who seemed better prepared this time, told Triumph they enjoyed hurting America. You got the impression he wished he'd used that line on Stewart. He then called Triumph a “pompous” dog — again, as if channeling Stewart.

“Get over it! Jon Stewart made you his (expletive)!” Triumph shot back. Score one for the hound.

“It's good to see that Jon had a real impact on you guys, a real reality check,” Triumph snarled. “Jon made some good points: Let's be better journalists, let's book Conan's dog.”

“I felt like we have learned something from him,” Carlson countered. “That's why we booked you.”

We're convinced there was an insult in there, directed at Stewart, but we can't quite put our finger on it.

Carlson, on a roll, noted that while Triumph, a rubber-headed Rottweiler, is a German dog, Triumph speaks with a Russian accent.

“How does that work?” Carlson asked, like a prep school debater who knows he's put a good one over on his opponent.

“Don't question it,” Triumph barked. “And I am a real dog, not a puppet. ... No self-respecting man would sit here and prop up a puppet — except for Dick Cheney.”

(Insert equal-time joke here.)

Carlson wanted to know who Triumph wanted to win the election. Triumph said he couldn't care less, adding that Carlson was the one man “so repellent” he could “make a woman want to sleep with Paul Begala.” He called Begala “so far up the butt of President Clinton they call you The Colonoscope.”

“You people have a responsibility! Jon is right, this is CNN!” Triumph yapped.

“OK, now I'm starting to hate you,” Tucker responded cleverly.

“This is ‘Crossfire'!” the puppet continued. “The 36th most popular show on CNN!”


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: battleofthebowties; bowtieboy; triumph

1 posted on 11/03/2004 9:41:22 AM PST by martin_fierro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

Phucker Carlson is a traitor toadie.

He called the race for Kerry, no mercy for him.


2 posted on 11/03/2004 9:42:27 AM PST by finnman69 (cum puella incedit minore medio corpore sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Tijeras_Slim; Constitution Day; TheBigB; unspun

I ping, I ping! I ping because I love!


3 posted on 11/03/2004 9:42:40 AM PST by martin_fierro (VOTED!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: finnman69

Tucker Carlson's sin isn't in calling a race wrong--it's that's he's never said a single interesting thing, ever.


4 posted on 11/03/2004 9:44:16 AM PST by Darkwolf377
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

Funny! Thanks!


5 posted on 11/03/2004 9:44:54 AM PST by DestroytheDemocrats
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: finnman69

Like I've stated, he's been drinking the KoolAid and Novak can't save him.


6 posted on 11/03/2004 9:46:01 AM PST by Raffus (Thanks to all Veterans for their service to our Country.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro
“This is ‘Crossfire'!” the puppet continued. “The 36th most popular show on CNN!”

ROTFL...I keed, I keed!

7 posted on 11/03/2004 9:46:22 AM PST by TheBigB (I have a keyboard and an attitude. Don't piss me off.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

ROFL! "I liked your election prediction, Tucker........FOR ME TO POOP ON!"


8 posted on 11/03/2004 9:46:59 AM PST by MamaLucci (Libs, want answers on 911? Ask Clinton why he met with Monica more than with his CIA director.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro
Last night while watching the returns on the PC (early evening), Fox News was preoccupied with hedging and hand-wringing; so I put on the Best of Triumph DVD instead.
9 posted on 11/03/2004 9:48:08 AM PST by snarkpup (Kerry is to national security what Clinton was to morality.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheBigB
Carlson wanted to know who Triumph wanted to win the election. Triumph said he couldn't care less, adding that Carlson was the one man “so repellent” he could “make a woman want to sleep with Paul Begala.” He called Begala “so far up the butt of President Clinton they call you The Colonoscope.”

Man, that's good.

10 posted on 11/03/2004 9:48:29 AM PST by martin_fierro (VOTED!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

My favorite Triumph line was from the bit where he was interviewing Star Wars geeks waiting in line in costume to watch the latest installment. Triumph asks the geek in the full Darth Vader costume, pointing to one of the colorful lights on Vader's breastplate, "Which one do you push to call your mother to pick you up?"


11 posted on 11/03/2004 9:49:49 AM PST by kezekiel
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kezekiel

My fave was when he went up to the girl and said, "Your're surrounded by hundreds of men who have no idea how to please you." :)


12 posted on 11/03/2004 9:54:42 AM PST by TheBigB (I have a keyboard and an attitude. Don't piss me off.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

Did Carville put anything else on his head last night? Such as Paul Begalas Colon or something


13 posted on 11/03/2004 10:05:48 AM PST by DM1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

hmmm where is Jon Stuart today?


14 posted on 11/03/2004 10:08:40 AM PST by linn37 (Have you hugged your Phlebotomist today?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro; Tijeras_Slim; Constitution Day; TheBigB
I see.

It was kind of a Smigel vs. Gollum thing, eh?

15 posted on 11/03/2004 11:33:07 AM PST by unspun (unspun.info | Did U work your precinct, churchmembers, etc. for good votes?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

ROFL! I hate I missed that, but I don't watch Crossfire.


16 posted on 11/03/2004 11:38:39 AM PST by Constitution Day
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

How about this Carlson quote?

"I don't know a single journalist who voted for Bush, not one," said Carlson, a conservative commentator. "The consensus in journalism is that he is not a good president." But ideology aside, Carlson said, "new is always better -- new story, new sources. Maybe an easier time getting through to significant people in the White House."


17 posted on 11/04/2004 5:41:49 PM PST by techdawg2k (Carlson is an idiot)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson