Posted on 10/24/2004 2:08:27 PM PDT by Bob J
I wish you could have it a different time.
I have to work *sniff*.
Great idea though, I plan to check it out.
FReepers are the funniest I've ever seen.
So, you've been sleazing around Free Republic for a couple years, tossing out morsels of your precious humor to the unappreciative swine? Actually, I always found the swine to be pretty appreciative.
The show will replay for 24 hours and again this weekend. Catch it when it's convenient for you!
Could you rephrase that and make it funny? (heheh)
Bob, what a fun idea. Having no wit myself I can only look forward to listening.
So, a penguin with a wooden leg walks into a bar........
Hi Bob J!
So? They aren't funny as posters, but we want to put them on the radio? YIKES!!
Off to get some Mountain Dew. LOL!
I'm just messing with you!
Tom! This is your calling!
I think we have some incredibly funny people on the Forum. I've already contacted and scheduled a few for tomorrow, but there is always next week! We don't know where this is going, but if it works out, I suspect we will have a guest spot every week for those aspiring stand up comics!
Thanks Jean!
Ping for later. BobJ, Rightalk is looking downright professional since I last browsed over that way. Congrats.
...And then the bartender says [you'll love this--chuckle--really], "HEY! That's not my alligator!"
[rimshot]
Me too.
The "swine" have been the MOST appreciated!
Of course, I am biased as a fellow swine.
Thanks JH!
"If you got what it takes to keep your head above water"
Hey, Ted Kennedy could enter!
I posted this on some other kerry "goose threads", but I have to one more time for the "morning" FR crew....
Maybe something like this happened to F'n durring his "goose hunt"....(It's an old Buddy Hackett joke...)
John Kerry, in dire need of carrying Ohio in his 2004 presidential bid, decided he should go "goose hunting" to maybe shore up the NRA and hunter's votes.
Kerry goes and buys his hunting licence, full camo gear, and brandishing his new shotgun, paused for the pre-hunt photo ops, and then takes off with a few other hunters, and begins his goose quest.
Going quite far off the "beaten path", to remain out of sight of the press incase he comes up "empty" in his "endeavor", Kerry and crew finally see a chance for a goose as a flock finally flies overhead within shotgun range. The rest of Kerry's team hold their fire to give Kerry his chance for a "kill".
Kerry fires twice and misses, but his third and last good shot at the flock, hits it's mark and wings one of the geese. The bird does not go down right away, but injuredly glides on a downward path ahead of Kerry's party and lands out of their site near what appears to be a farmers barn and house.
Kerry's party quickly goes to redeem their "prize", and climbing over the farmer's fence that marks his property, see the goose still flapping beside the farmer's barn. Kerry quickly heads to the barn, but is stopped short of retrieving the goose, as he is suddenly met by the farmer who owns the property.
Kerry says to the farmer:"Hello, I'm John Kerry, the Senator from Mass who is running for President. I shot a goose, and it landed by the barn and I was going to retrieve it."
The farmer replies:"Yes, I recognize you Senator, but it seems like you are unfamiliar with the goose hunting rules here in Ohio. If the goose lands on someone elses property, you do not have ownership of the bird, unless you are the winner of the challenge by the owner of the property."
Kerry replies: "I didn't know about the Ohio rule challenge. What is it?"
The farmer replies:"The owner of the property gets to pick the challenge. If you refuse, I get to keep the goose."
Kerry questions the farmer: "Well, it sounds fair, but what is your challenge ?"
The farmer replies: "You and I will have a contest. The contest is, we will take turns accepting a kick to the groin, and the last one standing gets to keep the goose. Agreed?"
Kerry thinks for a moment. He doesn't want to come away from his well publicized "goose hunt" empty handed, and the farmer doesn't look very strong. The war hero Kerry says to the farmer: "Well, it's a strange challenge, but let's go for it !!"
The farmer replies: "Ok Senator, but because I am the property owner, I get to start the challenge."
Kerry agrees. He hands his shotgun to one of the members of his party, and takes an open stance ready to accept the farmer's first attempt.
The farmer approaches Kerry, and gives him such a kick, that Kerry is lifted off his feet, and crumples into a writhing ball of pain. The farmer backs away, waiting to see if Kerry will survive his first kick. Kerry groans in pain, but after a few seconds, with his friends cheering him to get up, rises to his feet.
With Kerry's party cheering him on, Kerry says to the farmer: "Well that was pretty good, but now according to your rules, it's my turn to kick you !!"
The farmer replies: "Aw, you can keep the goose !!"
I was going to suggest that my character be modeled along the lines of Joe Btfsplk.
Yes, but are you quick on your feet?
Uhhh...is that Terayza by any chance?
A word to the wise...the early bird gets the worm.
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