Ashes to ashes, grass to turf

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ^ | Tuesday, October 12, 2004 | Dan Majors

[Willie Green]

Nobody wants to be pushing up daisies. But you kind of like to think that when you one day find yourself doing it, at least the daisies will be real.

But not if you're six feet under Sunset Hills Memorial Park in Apple Valley, Calif.

The Associated Press reported yesterday that the famous cemetery is giving up grass in favor of artificial turf. The owners of Sunset Hills Memorial Park say the switch will save as much as $180,000 in water and maintenance costs over the next three years.

"I actually believe it will revolutionize the cemetery industry eventually," said Sunset Hills co-owner Chet Hitt.

Of course, some people go through life thinking that the cemetery industry doesn't need a lot of revolutionizing. It's one of the things we've had down pat for a good long while.

You die, you get put in a fancy box, they dig a hole and cover you up. If you were a decent person, people come out and say a few nice things about you. You get a headstone or a plaque that tells people that you were here and that this is where you are now. With any luck, someone comes by every once in a while and leaves some flowers. And the cemetery folks pull the weeds and cut the grass.

But times change.....

[Willie Green]

Why aren't the Kalifornia enviro-whackos opposed to this?
The worms gotta eat TOO, ya know.

[Sunshine Sister]

I can see it now. The people who get a lot of visitors will have worn out turf. When the cemetary replaces it there will be sploches of new turf amoung the old faded turf. That will really look nice don't cha think?