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Automatic Complaint Letter Generator on John Kerry
Pakin.org ^ | 10/10/2004 | Scott Pakin

Posted on 10/10/2004 5:58:18 PM PDT by punster

To all readers: This is not a tickle-your-ears, politically correct letter. If you want to read something that's filled with rhetoric, read something else. If you want the truth, then read this letter. Let's start with my claim that the first response to this from Sen. John Kerry's associates is perhaps that Kerry is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Wrong. Just glance at the facts: Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that Kerry's warnings run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Why doesn't Kerry reveal the truth about himself?" The answer is not obvious, because we should use our words to create understanding and progress, not hatred and division. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Kerry does, and that's why he maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around him. There's a word for that: libel. Kerry's discourteous criticisms leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? Let me give you a hint: If the people generally are relying on false information sown by pathological, scary oafs, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation.

Kerry's initiatives express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of his accomplices in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these lousy psychics in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. If you were to try to tell Kerry's satraps that his mandarin prose has always appealed to imprudent nebbishes, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Kerry takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. I hate to say this, but it has been said that his factotums like having a stamp of assurance from him that what they're doing is fashionable, or at least acceptable. I, in turn, insist that when I'm through with him, he'll think twice before attempting to abet a resurgence of warped racialism. Consequently, Kerry maintains that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that his grotesque protests can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance.

As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that his shock troops will erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty some day. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have long been under the impression that it's time to get beyond lies, dissembling, and propaganda deliberately spread by Kerry and act according to the plain truth. And let me tell you, Kerry's goal is to incite young people to copulate early, often, and indiscriminately. How unambitious is that? How raving? How phlegmatic? Nevertheless, I try never to argue with him, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason.

I guess I really can't blame Kerry for wanting to blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his spineless utterances. After all, he doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. Take a good, close look at yourself, Kerry. What you'll probably find is that you're flighty.

Have you ever had a bad dream about him trying to redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with? Well, I have news for you. That wasn't a dream; it was real. If it were up to him, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. Far too many people tolerate Kerry's campaigns as long as they're presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that Kerry's pronouncements are simply the result of vested interests striking back at a group whose actions in support of religious freedom, social reform, and government accountability have cut through those vested interests. I mean, think about it. Kerry's scribblings are a load of claptrap. It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem, but there are no simple solutions.

However much Kerry may deny it, when I was younger, I wanted to throw down the gauntlet and challenge his cringers to lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. I still want to do that, but now I realize that he claims that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Predictably, he cites no hard data for that claim. This is because no such data exist. Having already explained that he makes it his job to encumber the religious idea with too many things of a purely earthly nature and thus bring religion into a totally unnecessary conflict with science, let me now state that he talks a lot about mandarinism and how wonderful it is. However, he's never actually defined what it means. How can Kerry argue for something he's never defined? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that Kerry might burn our fair cities to the ground one of these days. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome? I'm no expert, but it seems to me that I want to champion the force of goodness against the greed of the worst sorts of birdbrained turncoats I've ever seen. That may seem simple enough, but he is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's unregenerate to make plans and carry them out; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that I myself have begged Kerry's co-conspirators to step forth and challenge Kerry to defend his slogans or else to change them. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Kerry might retaliate? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that if Kerry continues to impose a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs, I will certainly be obliged to do something about him. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations.

If natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species, then Kerry is clearly going to be the first to go. He is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, Kerry's willingness to remove society's moral barriers and allow perversion to prosper sets a new record for brazenness. Because of Kerry's eagerness to participate in riots, his conclusions turn the stomachs of those who know even a little about the real world. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that once you understand Kerry's notions, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Kerry take rights away from individuals on the basis of prejudice, myth, irrational belief, inaccurate information, and outright falsehood. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that it has been said that his epigrams are related to the elements and bases of fanaticism both organizationally and ideologically. I believe that to be true. I also believe that Kerry's dissolute pleas demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Kerry then blames us for that. Now there's a prizewinning example of psychological projection if I've ever seen one.

I honestly have a hard time trying to reason with people who remain calm when they see Kerry do everything possible to keep immoral, delusional half-wits disagreeable and chthonic. It is painful to write such truisms, but he yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Kerry, "attract attention" usually implies "create a mass psychology of fear about an imminent terrorist threat". Everybody knows that his belief systems have very little thought behind them and are neither interesting nor amusing, but you should consider that we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his disgraceful accusations. For starters, let's say that "insurrectionism" is "that which makes Kerry yearn to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior he disapproves of."

What, then, does "stereophotogrammetry" mean? It means considerably more than any dictionary is likely to say. I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that the baneful nature of his quips is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Kerry's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. Kerry has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that the sun rises just for him. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so." He is like a Judas goat, leading us all to the slaughter. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the general drift.

In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the op-ed pieces of virulent, fork-tongued bottom-feeders, but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant screeds. Admittedly, Kerry frequently engages in violent fantasies involving the most brainless crybabies you'll ever see. But that's because we should not concern ourselves with Kerry's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and the fact that Kerry can get away with lies (e.g., that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel), because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Kerry is lying. If we are to offer true constructive criticism -- listening to the whole issue, recognizing the problems, recognizing what is being done right, and getting involved to help remedy the problem -- then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the blathering and sanctimonious ideologies that Kerry promotes. He says that he is omnipotent. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely macabre and meretricious lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Kerry's cohorts. My goal for this letter was to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. Know that I have done my best while trying always to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. Let an honest history judge.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: complaintletter; humor; johnkerry; kaptainketchup; kerry
Scott Pakin's Automatic Complaint generator is back up.

This really sounds like a good criticism of Kaptain Ketchup.

Enjoy!

1 posted on 10/10/2004 5:58:18 PM PDT by punster
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To: punster

longwinded just like sKerry


2 posted on 10/10/2004 6:00:27 PM PDT by boxerblues (www.ohbluestarmothers.org)
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To: punster

hahahahahahahahaah !!!!!!


3 posted on 10/10/2004 6:00:33 PM PDT by dennisw (Gd is against Amelek for all generations.)
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To: punster

My complaint about Sen. John F. Kerry
I am going to make this short but sweet: "Sen. John F. Kerry" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone extirpate the very things I cherish, I tell him or her to stop "Kerry-ing". What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Kerry himself. There are three points I need to make here. First, his few positive contributions will continue to be overshadowed by his broader message of hate. Second, an axiom among his vicegerents is that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. And third, if you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that if we let him persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. Although I consistently face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them, I do not countenance challenging Kerry through breaking the law -- to do so is damnable, revolting, and indefensible.

I don't know when Dadaism became chic, but if you think that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him, then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Kerry wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance. Moving on, his claim that hanging out with the most grungy crackpots you'll ever see is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience is factually unsupported and politically motivated. For future reference, it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into Bonapartism. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. Should we sit back and let Kerry saddle the economy with crippling debt, or should we detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart his mudslinging, morbid schemes? That choice sure sounds like a no-brainer to me.

His positions are continually evolving into more and more cacodemonic incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how I cannot promise not to be angry at Kerry. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me -- as it leads Kerry -- to panic irrationally and overreact completely. He is nothing if not loathsome. But let's not quibble about that. Nonetheless, if I didn't sincerely believe that this should not and need not be the case, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. There are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Kerry finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that he try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that someone has been giving Kerry's brain a very thorough washing, and now Kerry is trying to do the same to us. To end on a more positive note: Rigid adherence to dogmatic purity will lead only to disunity while we clearly need unity to tell Sen. John F. Kerry what we all think of him -- and boy, do I have some choice words I'd like to use.


4 posted on 10/10/2004 6:05:50 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: punster

John Kerry says he can do a better job than President Bush.

Oh really?

What is Kerry’s record during his 20 years in the Senate?

• Kerry voted against most of the major weapons systems that our troops use today.
• Kerry voted against the $87 billion for support of the troops, after he voted for it.
• Kerry led the fight against President Bush's Department Of Homeland Security, voting against it six times and delaying it for 112 days.
• Kerry missed more than 75% of the meetings of the Senate Intelligence Committee.
• Kerry proposed slashing the intelligence budget by $7.5 billion after the first attack on the World Trade Center.
• Kerry has voted at least 350 times for higher taxes.
• Kerry has been able to persuade congress to pass only eight insignificant laws that bear his name, and most of those were strictly ceremonial.
• Kerry has proposed that use of force by the US must meet a “global test.”
• Kerry voted against the first Gulf War, after Saddam invaded Kuwait. By Kerry’s standards, Saddam would still be in power, and in Kuwait.
• Kerry says he has a plan. Custer had a plan, too.

Kerry can do a better job than President Bush? Oh really?


5 posted on 10/10/2004 6:09:15 PM PDT by LOC1
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To: LOC1

Hannity, is that you??


6 posted on 10/10/2004 6:13:02 PM PDT by ThreePuttinDude (Betty Castor the Florida Disaster)
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To: ThreePuttinDude

I wish missing 75% of the intelligence committee meetings wasn't far down the list. Republicans really blow an opportunity by not hammering that fact far harder than they do.


7 posted on 10/10/2004 6:24:43 PM PDT by Mount Athos
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To: ThreePuttinDude

No, but I sent it to him about 5 days ago.


8 posted on 10/10/2004 6:27:21 PM PDT by LOC1
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To: boxerblues

OCTOBER SURPRISE AD:

Political Operative Veterans Against George W. Bush (POVAGWB) Meeting: Mr. Kerry Reports (Serious Parody):

“When I attended a POVAGWB meeting recently, I heard testimony from Campaign Operative Veterans that they had:

• Cut off the locks and bashed in doors of regional Republic Campaign Headquarters
• Raped and defiled various Republican office machines
• Randomly shot weapons into Republican Campaign Headquarters
• Defiled US Mail delivered to the Republican Regional Campaign Headquarters
• Razed Republican campaign offices across the country in the manner reminiscent of Genghis Kahn
• Had bleeding gums reminiscent of gingivitis
• Destroyed foodstuffs found in campaign office refrigerators
• Raised the dead and forced them into voting booths
• Kicked their dogs
• Urinated on Republican campaign signs
• Used large union thugs to destroy GWB campaign signs held by three-year-old girls
• Told story after story of falsely accusing Republicans the gruesome act of denying minorities the right to vote
• Committed other violent campaign atrocities under the tacit control and support of the DNC commanders”

Mr. Kerry denies being at a DNC meeting where these tactics were discussed and planned, but witness say he was there. Others are accusing him of meeting with Carl Rove in an attempt to end the campaign early and declare GWB the winner.

Paid for by a Swift-Thinking Freeper in America


9 posted on 10/10/2004 6:37:56 PM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: punster

Simple - KERRY FAILS TO REALIZE THE LESSONS THAT 3000 AMERICANS DIED TO TEACH HIM.

If Kerry wasn't so stupid... he would stop bashing Bush about the economy because the truth is that if Bush did not put his ... his.... his ... economic plan into play after 911 yes the "TAX CUT FOR THE WEALTHY" this country would be in a severe economic depression and oh... guess.. what the Terrorists would have won... REMEMBER THEY STRUCK THE HEART of OUR FINANCIAL CENTER FOR A REASON" How many JOBS were lost... over a Million in one day... so when John Kerry talks about Jobs he fails to remember 911... How can any 911 family stand with this guy ... it reeks and its disgusting they dishonor their loved ones.

I Hate John Kerry....He thinks we are all DUMB AND POOR... or maybe he thinks we were all Poor before we were dumb...


10 posted on 10/10/2004 6:44:13 PM PDT by tomnbeverly (The Plan to Win the Peace was subverted by the liberals and this isn't the first time.)
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