Posted on 08/29/2004 9:25:42 AM PDT by nuconvert
An apology -- and thank you, before leaving
DAVE BARRY
ATHENS -- I'm leaving the Olympics and heading home, assuming the plane can lift me. This is a concern because I've gained many kilometers of mass from eating Greek food, especially ``baklava,'' which is the Greek word for ``carbohydrates.''
But before I leave I have something to say to Greece:
Dear Greece,
I owe you an apology. Every negative thought I had about you before I got here -- every worry, every concern -- turned out to be wrong.
When I got to Greece, I thought you wouldn't be ready for the Olympics. But you were -- more ready than my country was in 1996 when the Olympics came to Atlanta. Your facilities were finished, or at least finished enough; the buses ran on time; the phones worked; and an army of ever-cheerful volunteers stood by to deal with what few glitches there were. The Games went beautifully. I still don't understand rhythmic gymnastics, but that's not your fault.
FEELING SAFE
When I got to Greece, I was worried about terrorism. But my only moments of terror involved public toilets last cleaned by the Goths, and of course the Athens taxis, which are a menace to all humanity everywhere. (If we keep sending robots to Mars, sooner or later one of them will be run over by an Athens taxi.) But the Games themselves, and your country, always felt safe. The security, even though there was a lot of it, never felt oppressive. I wish I felt as safe in my own country as I did in yours.
When I got to Greece, I was worried about pickpockets. My company sent me to a scary security-training session that left me convinced I'd wind up lying in some Athens alley, stripped of money, clothes and key bodily organs. But nobody took anything from me. Instead, people kept giving me things: pins, maps, guidebooks, smiles, and -- most precious of all -- directions. Whenever I looked lost -- which was often -- people would stop and ask me, in English, if I needed help. Often they'd walk with me, going out of their way, making sure I was on the right path, sometimes even handing me off to another Greek, passing me across Athens, a human baton in the Clueless American Relay.
A FAMILY AFFAIR
When I got to Greece, I was worried about bringing my 4-year-old daughter, Sophie. But you opened your arms to her, as you do to all children. We couldn't get on a bus without somebody offering Sophie a seat; we couldn't walk around our neighborhood without somebody shouting ''Sophie!'' and running over to say hi to her. At home, I'm a newspaper columnist; in Greece, I'm the guy who accompanies Sophie.
When I got to Greece. I was worried about not understanding the language. But it turned out the only Greek word I really needed to know was ''efharisto,'' which means (I hope) ''thank you.'' I said it a hundred times a day.
So, Greece, I apologize. You took on a huge task, and you did it well, and your competence was matched by your warmth. You treated my family like your family; we've already decided we're coming back (after all, Sophie will wants to see her friends).
Until then, Greece, from my heart: efharisto.
Nah. Wrong unit of measure, Dave.
A_R
Love, peace, chicken grease
The weightlifting competition I saw was the women's 63 kg class. I'm not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg. Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg. There's no way to know for sure without finding out what a ''kg'' is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.
LoL. Yup.
Have a nice "tipiyokti."
Dave Barry is a humorist.
That is an example of humor.
FYI.
Very good. I like it, a lot.
FMCDH(BITS)
Why would anybody be pissed off the Olympics went well? That Greek woman, I forget her name, is amazing, and looks like she'll be running for a high political office. It seems this Olympics went off very well, and I enjoyed watching it. HOWEVER, I must say that without TIVO, it would have not been as great of an experience as it has been. For those who have never experienced TIVO or a Cable DVR system, you really must. If you enjoy TV, as I do, it's a must have!
I agree with your enthusiasm for TIVO and similar devices. Even the commercials are better with TIVO. If you want to, you can skip the program segments and go right to the commercials, pause live commercials, replay commercials, etc.
WOW! He is 57 years old with a 4 year old little girl.
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