I want to: John F. Kerry is a soulless politician who has no conscience, no core and panders to the moment. He is also a horse's...
Posted on 08/07/2004 2:14:17 PM PDT by wagglebee
How much influence does Hollywood have on John Kerry? Listening to him during this campaign has been like watching the movie "50 First Dates," where Drew Barrymore's character has amnesia. Kerry has contradicted himself so often that one has to deduce that his memory is seriously failing, or he's so scarred by his Vietnam guilt-trip that he's perpetually flummoxed. (That is, if one doesn't want to call him a soulless politician who has no conscience, no core and panders to the moment.)
Kerry's Democratic National Convention speech was a series of crazy contradictions to his 20-year Senate voting record on the military. If not for amnesia, there seems no possible way that Kerry could have maintained a straight face while he waxed on about building up the military and perfecting intelligence. Is he kidding? This is a man who's spent a 20-year career voting to tear down the military and dismantle intelligence services.
At his New York City fundraiser, he announced that the wealthy enclave of Hollywood-ites in attendance were "the heart and soul of America," while his wife, Teresa Heinz, later called the "face of America" a Peace Corps volunteer. They must be counting on Hollywood to pull off that imagery, as it's certainly a weird picture. Regardless, the Hollywood crowd is the group to whom Kerry has displayed the greatest respect, and from which he has worked the hardest to curry favor.
In an interview with George Stephanopoulos, Kerry said that he has a secret plan to fight terrorism, but he won't tell us about it unless he's elected president. Stephanopoulos told Kerry that he sounded like Nixon, but I think he sounded more like an overwrought Hollywood movie. Imagine Kerry's voice lowering a few octaves as he says, "Only upon becoming president will I save the nation. My plan is classified. I could tell you, but then" -- pause for dramatic effect -- "I'd have to kill you."
If the warped, material world of Hollywood is Kerry's image of "the heart and soul of America," doesn't it make you wonder what Kerry's idea of the perfect presidential Cabinet would be if he were elected?
Chief of Staff: Jane Fonda. Bonded by the Vietnam War, they may have mutual friends from the Viet Cong, and Jane probably respects Kerry immensely because he's confessed to so many disgusting war atrocities.
Press Secretary (propaganda minister): Michael Moore, whose expertise in spinning a yarn and lying will be invaluable to deflecting blame.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Whoopi Goldberg. Although she's still struggling with the technically correct terms for the female anatomy, her verbal interest shows a willingness to learn.
Secretary of Defense: Kofi Annan. This would dovetail beautifully with Kerry's defense policy as he has articulated it by saying to The Harvard Crimson, "I'm an internationalist. I'd like to see our troops dispersed through the world only at the directive of the United Nations."
Secretary of the Treasury: Teresa Heinz. She loves a big checkbook, and there's none bigger than that of the good ol' U.S. of A. Oops, an anti-nepotism statute was passed after the Kennedy administration, prohibiting a president from appointing a family member. Kerry will have to get that law changed, but that might be tough as it would require he show up and vote "for" something. He's missed 89 percent of Senate votes this year, and 64 percent last year, and he missed 38 of 49 public meetings while he was on the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence. But he still collects his paycheck!
Secretary of Agriculture: Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, jointly, due to their extensive agricultural experience on "The Simple Life."
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Heidi Fleiss. Based on Kerry's dishonorable opinion of the men with whom he served in the military, it seems she's the only madam who could handle the sheer volume of this job.
But don't take my word for it, check it out for yourself. If you dare.
Wait?! THIS was in a San Francisco newspaper? FAINT....THUD!
BUMP!!
Wow. That's gonna leave a mark. The SF Examiner?
Yeah, that blew me away too. I looked for a link from another paper, but it was actually the Examiner.
I want to: John F. Kerry is a soulless politician who has no conscience, no core and panders to the moment. He is also a horse's...
Dept. of Queer Eye: Elton John
Dept. of Court Jester: Al Franken
Dept. of Gay Marriage: Janet Reno
Dept. of Emotion and Screaming: Howard Dean
Dept. of Poor Losers: Al Gore
I think I've seen her name on good stuff before from the SF Examiner -- token sane person?
Yowza!! That's gotta leave a mark. (I see someone else beat me to the punch, but it is a zinger.) This author nailed the coffin shut each and every paragraph. Just goes to show we can't write off San Francisco yet.
In the picture, Kerry is probably saying the following,( I was a a horse before I morphed into a man).I am sure the democrats will allow them to vote.Bush/Cheney2004
Who else??
BTTT
bump
ROFLMAO!!!!
Check out this column on why Kerry will lose the election:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2004/08/09/asparks.DTL
ROFL! I just love it - what makes it even funnier is it'll be the Cabinet that never was.
VP (not actually a Cabinet position, but even more important in some regards) - John Edwards
Secretary of Defense - Sam Nunn
Secretary of State - Al Gore
Secretary of Health & Human Services - Carol Moseley Braun
Secretary of Housing & Urban Development - Jesse Jackson Jr.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Max Cleland
Head of the Department of Homeland Security - Richard Clarke
Secretary of the Treasury - Jon Corzine
Secretary of Transportation - He'll keep Norman Mineta on for a little while
Secretary of Energy - Edward Markey
Secretary of Education - Lawrence Summers
Secretary of Labor - Dick Gephardt
Secretary of the Interior - Bill Richardson
Secretary of Commerce - Alexis Herman
Secretary of Agriculture - Tom Vilsack
Attorney General - Eliot Spitzer
This must have been hidden the the personal ads or something...
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