Posted on 07/30/2004 5:02:00 AM PDT by jslade
Here’s what he really said
By Howie Carr
Recent Columns by Howie Carr
Friday, July 30, 2004
If he really wanted to properly introduce himself to the American people last night, why didn't John Kerry [related, bio] use his trademark line, the one he has employed for so many years around here, whenever anyone calls him on anything?
``Do you know who I am?''
Instead - before the now famous balloon and f-bomb drop on CNN - we got the lame refrain, ``Help is on the way.''
Presumably, good help, which as John and the widow Heinz can tell you, is awfully hard to find.
It was an odd speech, and by the way, is it over yet? I thought he'd served in the Senate, but apparently he was fighting in Vietnam with a band of brothers from 1968 until last year when he announced for president.
If you used Kerry's speech to play the drinking game, where you take a sip whenever someone says a certain word, then you've probably got a hangover this morning if your word was ``Vietnam'' or ``fight'' or ``war.''
Thank God this convention is finally over. It turned into Mumbles Menino's Iraq war. Many fled the city in terror, so in case you didn't watch Liveshot's speech, let me provide you with the lines themselves, and then, in italics, what he really meant.
``People are working weekends; they're working two jobs, three jobs, and they're still not getting ahead.''
It's hard to get ahead when gigolos keep cutting in line in front of you.
``And what can I say about Teresa?''
Three words will suffice: one billion dollars.
``She's down to earth, nurturing, courageous, wise and smart.''
Did I mention her five mansions worth $50 million, and her $35 million Gulfstream V?
``Opportunity for all - so that every child, every parent, every worker has an equal shot at living up to their God-given potential.''
You too can marry two heiresses. It's the American dream.
``My fellow citizens, elections are about choices.''
Which is why I try to be on both sides of every issue. You choose which side you're on, I'm there for you.
``I rode my bike into Soviet East Berlin.''
It was a Schwinn - I'd never even heard of an $8,000 Serotta back then.
``As president, I will ask hard questions.''
Sommelier, which of these two imported $125 Merlots which you recommend?
``So tonight we say: Help is on the way.''
I'm sending my butler.
Howie Carr is their token conservative.
Where has Juliet been all week? Since Fox is being so nice to the Dems, maybe they were afraid that Juliet would come off as too Pro-Bush. Juliet and Brian, they could host 7 days a week and it would be fine with me. Instead, we were stuck with the two lib sisters, Hill and Chetry.
Maybe it's time to fire off some more emails to Mr. Ailes. Not that it's going to do any good, but it's getting to the point that Fox & Friends is off limits to me when the libs are hosting.
Speaking of Howie Carr, I wish that I could get his show where I live. I do get Hannity and Rush, but Mr. Carr surely would be interesting at this time, seeing that he has so much insight into John Kerry.
That Huddy is one fine POA!
This is the best line.
Unless, of course, they are your quarters, or the those of the Wealthy-Dowager/Heiress/Widow/SugarMomma-of-the-Moment!
Thanks for the info.
I'm female so I don't think that Juliet is one fine POA, but I like her because she's not some brainwashed liberal.
Howie was on O'Reilly last night, and as refers to Kerry, said "there is no THERE there".
He mentions FR all the time on his radio show.
Hi Howie!
-NOT!!-
I don't believe one word of that.
You can get streaming audio of his show here.
Tough to get it to work though.
You're thinking of the Globe. The Herald is all over the place.
"Yeah," said Jay. "You're a gold-digger."
John Kerry. First he looks at the purse.
Editorial writing doesn't get any better than this.
Editorial writing doesn't get any better than this.
"Looks at the purse line" comes from the famous Boston group J Geils Band who had a local mega-hit hit with "First I Look at the Purse", a rhythm and blues tune.
| FIRST I LOOK AT THE PURSE (Written by : Smokey Robinson / Robert Rodgers) The Contours J. Geils Band Some fellas look at the eyes Some fellas look at the nose ... lyricsplayground.com/alpha/ songs/f/firstilookatthepurse.shtml - 11k - |
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