My name Big Watermelon. I like China. This girl Monica very fat

Sunday Independent (Ireland) ^ | Sun, Jul 25 04 | Brendan O'Connor

[Happygal]

I know we've had stories about this - but I thought this a very humorous take!

[Happygal]

I thought you lot might enjoy Brendan O'Connors musings on this.

[GeronL]

LOL

[GeronL]

Big Watermelon.

[GeronL]

oh ok... more like "they call me vienna sausage"

[Aeronaut]

A bit off topic -- My wife just got a new curling iron. It the directions it cautions the user "do not use while sleeping."

[beyond the sea]

with a huge interest in and love for China and all things Chinese.

Chicom campaign contributions were interesting.

[longfellow]

He also tells his wife to "shut up" on one occasion-(First and last.)
I Rike how ashtrlay rook in my head. said birr crinton.

[Happygal]

Here's another one on this topic from the Sunday Indo. Seems like the editorial staff there had fun with this story this week.

Clinton's great wail of China IT'S a cultural thing - the Chinese get a bad rap. All we ever read about is how they suppress free speech and throw people in prison for doing calisthenics. But while the UN purses its lips there does seem to be a lower tolerance of celebrity bullshit in the Far East.

Take Bill Clinton's doorstep-sized autobiography.

Of course the translators get roasted for leaving out references to Tiananmen Square and other government misdeeds. But they make up for it in other ways. You see, while China is, by all accounts, a pretty grim place to live, they don't seem to have too many of those tedious libel laws that we have to worry about over here.

So instead of Clinton fulminating about "unfortunate mistakes" with You Know Who, he tells us that "she was just very fat. I can never trust my own judgement."

Now while, technically, this might be 'made up' we all know it's how Clinton would have said it if the lawyers and Hillary's PR people didn't have him on a choke chain.

In fact, most of the book could have done with a taste of the Oriental view of things.

For one thing, they could have cut a few centimetres off the book's width by sparing us the lyrical waxing on Northern Ireland and instead just telling us, "it was for the votes".

Or perhaps they could have edited out all those bits about the witch-hunts (or criminal investigations as some called them). It would have been so much better than the watered-down literary baby food we were fed in the West.

Maybe Clinton will thank the rogue publishers by not attempting to sue them. He is a humanitarian after all, and they are protecting the Chinese people's right not to have to read bullshit memoirs.

Which might not balance out all those poor murd-ered dissidents, but it's a start.

[lainde]

Har! Best, most honest review ever!

[SamAdams76]

Don't forget the classic "All your base are belong to us."

[aruanan]

In other words, the Chinese version is about as accurate as the English version.

[vetvetdoug]

I bet there is the obligatory part of the book where Bill's extracurricular activities are described and prefaced with his women saying "Me so horny, love you long time."

[ovrtaxt]

on first meeting Hillary, Chinese Bill apparently thought, "she was as beautiful as a princess" and told her his name was "Big Watermelon".

This Chinese Bill guy is stealing one of my most effective pickup lines!

Of course, I also sometimes claim to be William Hung.

[nuconvert]

And I hope your wife remembers that. Also, DO NOT Use While in Shower or Bathtub.

[ovrtaxt]

They call me 'tater salad'.

[bikepacker67]

www.engrish.com/

[Victor]

Big Watermelon? More like Bent SlimJim....

[aculeus]

I thought you lot might enjoy Brendan O'Connors musings on this.

Funny!!!

[Bahbah]

"I thought this a very humorous take!"

LOL, agreed.