Out of Africa (Dowd alert)

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD
1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

Explanation of the Dowd/Douglas connection: by Miss Marple- 2/11/03

Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

Moron Dowd enjoys a drink with her DemonRat Party pals
(Courtesy Free ThinkerNY)

Yo, Maureen!!!

Pardon me for skipping over Dowd's loony drivel. I only click on these threads for CZJ pix.

(But I really do read Playboy for the articles.)

This is a pretty strong endorsement of Cheney. Anyone that Dowd is this opposed to must be doing a terrific job.

Poor Mo must be loosning it.
She makes Bush/Cheney look good.
And Thanks for the tip about Terrraaaaza's nick Mo.
(I'm sure the dimocrats will love ya for it.)

"Stepmoney" indeed!

Bwhahahahahaha!

STEPMONEY!!!!!

stepmoney!!!!!!

STEPMONEY!!!!!!!!!

It gets funnier each time I say it!!

How come we haven't heard this gem until now?

When Bush/Cheny are reelected, I sense there will be one helluva run on Prozac, Paxil, and Luvox. Possible also a string of mass suicides, not that it would be any great loss. Except to the pharmaceutical industry, of course.

She makes Bush/Cheney look good.

That's also what I got out of her editorial. Dowd really seems to loathe Kerry's wife.

Kerry's campaign is spending millions in tv ad money trying to reach single women voters. Yet, Maureen Down seems determined to convince such voters that Kerry and his wife, identified as "Stepmoney" in this editorial, do not make a winning top of the ticket.

Let's see if I can clean this up for Ms. Dowd a little...I will take out all the disparaging comments about the Bushs and VP Cheney, and VOILA! we suddenly have another opinion writer that we like!

Out of Africa

By MAUREEN DOWD

Democrats on the West Coast fret about Teresa Heinz Kerry acting flaky.

You never know what the lovely but strange Mrs. Kerry will blurt out.

With Mr. Kerry at her side, she gave her Middle East policy to Larry King, emphatically noting, "I would never have gone to war this way."

And campaigning in Boston, her compliment for the new ticket was backhanded. "I have to say that John Edwards is very beautiful," she said in her soft accent, adding, "and my husband is very smart." Welcome to the campaign, pretty boy.

After watching Mrs. Kerry in action at last month's Hollywood fund-raiser featuring Barbra Streisand and other glitteries, when she gave her whispery Out-of-Africa autobiographical riff as the candidate waited patiently, entertainment liberals are nervous about how she will handle her unusual spousal star turn in a prime-time speaking slot at the convention.

Even in a place where everyone is constantly reinventing, people are a little stunned at the way Teresa casts herself as a "third worlder" and "daughter of Africa," a wretched-refuse-of-your-teeming-shore sort of immigrant rather than a "White Mischief" émigré, the daughter of a prosperous Portuguese doctor in colonial Mozambique who met John Heinz when they were studying in Switzerland. When Mrs. Kerry presents herself as an African-American or says, "I'm an immigrant, too," and when her son Chris Heinz says he's looking forward to the day when there is a "first-generation American" in the White House, it doesn't always strike the empathetic chord with Hispanic and black audiences that the campaign hopes for.

Some Hollywood contributors want to censor any Teresa tidbits, including any mention of her nickname among some in the Kerry circle — "the Stepmoney." Others sanguinely say she's showing some improvement, not talking about her first husband as much as she used to.

Surely, the reason the town known as the Democratic Party's wallet is so focused on the candidate's spouse is that the candidate himself has given it nothing to get excited about. People here are amazed that John Kerry does not even have a soaring stump speech yet, either in terms of the arc or music of the words, or the passion of the ideas. John 2 came up with the theme of two Americas in the primaries, and John 1 still hasn't articulated his vision for one.

Last week, it was the Kerry campaign, which tried to make the claim that Hillary Clinton preferred a silent cameo in a non-prime-time chorus line of female Democratic senators to a top speaking slot.

"Senator Clinton, along with all the other women senators — I think nine of them in the Democratic Party," Tad Devine told Judy Woodruff Thursday on CNN, "agreed that they wanted to appear and speak together and ask Senator Mikulski, the senior member, to speak on their behalf."

And I am Marie of Romania.

It's understandable that Mr. Kerry, who is already losing the competition for the spotlight with Teresa, would not want to hand the microphone to Hillary. But if he thought he could really treat Hillary like a junior senator and get away with it, he's as delusional as Paul Wolfowitz.

His campaign squandered the lead-up to the convention trying to justify the inexplicable and inescapable — when it wasn't wondering if it could also somehow keep Jimmy Carter out of prime time.

Hillary did what she does best. She brought the leader of the party to heel. And in giving her a prime-time slot, but only to introduce her husband, Mr. Kerry did what he does worst: Try to have it both ways.

Dowed or whatever her name is does not even merit using one brain cell of reading capacity in my or anyone else's daily life.

And for the life of me, I cannot understand why Freepers or conservatives in general even bother reading or posting her NY Times slander.

All it does is give the liberals a jolt of joy when they realize that the right is obsessing over the left's reprehensible attempts to convince anyone that it is THEY who really knows what is good for America.

To follow the suggestions of the hate mongers and terrorist appeasers like Dowed would be akin to inviting Osama and the boys into the heartland of America so as to prepare us all to accept the "religion of peace."

You really should read this one. It's pretty entertaining.

STEPMONEY!!!!!!!!!
It gets funnier each time I say it!!

How come we haven't heard this gem until now?

Dunno. But I don't think it's gonna go away!

Ignore the 1st five or so sentences. She goes on like she used to mock Clinton during the Monica affair and aftermath. Teraza and John F'n will not be pleased in the least. Not all of the Times is fishwrap. You just have to know what to ignore.

Again, Po' Mo is trying to do what someone else does best: write like Hemmingway.

But she can't.

Because she's not.

Po' Mo.