Posted on 07/09/2004 6:17:47 AM PDT by Osage Orange
The Veep Needs a Wig
By Robert Haught
Potomac Junction
WASHINGTON -- The handwriting is on the wall for Dick Cheney. The vice president's future political fate was sealed when John Kerry picked John Edwards as his running mate. The Democrats now have two white guys with lots of money and lots of hair seeking to recapture the White House in November.
The Republicans also have two rich white guys, and President Bush has a presentable head of hair. But the balding Cheney is no match for the blow-dried senator from North Carolina. If the GOP has any chance of attracting the most votes from citizens who place looks over leadership, Cheney has got to go.
The John-John ticket (has a nice Kennedy- type ring to it, doesn't it?) offers American voters two men who made their money the old-fashioned way: Kerry by marrying well and Edwards by suing doctors. Both should have a lock on the support of the country's hair stylists.
For his choice to be vice president, Kerry picked a man he had deemed unfit to be president while he was campaigning in the Democratic primaries. The Massachusetts liberal once put down his Southern rival with the snide remark, "When I came back from Vietnam in 1969, I don't know if John Edwards was out of diapers then."
Why did he tap Edwards over such exciting possibilities as Rep. Dick Gephardt of Missouri, Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack or Florida Sen. Bob Graham? Despite their differences on issues, the two candidates have one thing in common: They like to live well. Both have posh homes scattered around the country.
Edwards interrupted a beach vacation at one of those spots to fly to Washington for a secret meeting with Kerry, at which a deal apparently was made, with Edwards agreeing to give Kerry half of his energy and charisma.
It remains to be seen whether Kerry can embrace Edwards' theme of "two Americas" -- one for the wealthy and one for the rest of us.
Kerry campaign strategists obviously recognized Edwards' potential as a fund-raiser for the fall campaign. Since he lost the nomination battle to Kerry, Edwards has actively raised money all over the country. He recently spoke in Boston to a convention of well-heeled trial lawyers, the profession that made him wealthy.
As for Cheney, he apparently has been trying to remake his image to broaden his appeal to the voters. The vice president used street language on the floor of the U.S. Senate against a Democrat critic, Sen. Patrick Leahy. Some of Cheney's supporters say his rebuke was too mild and that he should have kicked the Vermont senator in the (bleep).
Edwards' favorite F-word is "fee."
Bush says he won't dump Cheney, and the longtime veteran of government and politics could give Edwards, the neophyte, a strong challenge in the debates. But before he goes before the cameras, the veep might want to go shopping for a hairpiece.
Robert Haught: potomacj@hotmail.com
Good line......Ha!!
Not So Fast, John Kerry; Survey Says President Bush Has Best Hair
http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/07-08-2004/0002207030&EDATE=
It remains to be seen whether Kerry can embrace Edwards' theme of "two Americas"
Two Americas...one with hair, one without.
Cheney's brain is so powerful it melted his hair.
John John '04
Hair America
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
LOL.
Hehehehe...........
Don't guess they like metrosexuals too much in Okhlahoma.
Does any voter with a brain actually care about the hair of the President? This is ridiculous. If Americans from the early nineteenth/late eighteenth centuries saw the present state of Presidential elections they would be appalled.
I'm appalled at the state of the media circus/elections.
First there was the bake-off.
Then the athleticism.
Now the hair and Dem hug&grope fest.
I'm ready to vote and get it over with. Do you remember the days when the shilling for votes didn't really start until say, August? We've been at this for a fricken year already.
> Cheney's brain is so powerful it melted his hair.
Uhhh -- You owe me a keyboard :)
Maybe Bush should tap Don King for his veep candidate - that would certainly put the hair question to rest.
It would be pretty funny if Cheney came out at a stump speech somewhere with a wig on to spoof the other side.
He can then open his speech with a line like, "just checking if you prefer style over substance" and then remove the wig.
FWIW-
Ha!!
FRegards,
Yup the dems have the John-John ticket, or is that the John Doe / John Doe ticket? Or just the dodo ticket?
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