Oral sex lessons to cut rates of teenage pregnancy [UK]

The Observer (UK) ^ | May 9, 2004 | Mark Townsend

[navyblue]

And just how exactly are they supposed to check a woman's grade during the practical lab of this course ?

Well, if she flunks, she'll just have to repeat the class! No social promotions here!

[Blue Scourge]

*just nods his head and walks away....*

[Texas Eagle]

Teachers who sign up to the course are primed to deal with queries from pupils on all kinds of sexual experience.

Here is an actual script the teachers are taught to "prime" them for possible responses they may get from a student.

Teacher: Morning, maiden!
Maiden: Good morning.
T: Are, uh,...are you a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
M: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
T: You, uh, you, do you go, eh, do you go, eh?
M: Well, I sometimes "go", yes.
T: Aaaaaaaah bet you do, I bet you do, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
M: I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
T: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
M: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
T: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
M: Well, I, uh....
T: Are you, uh, are you a sport, ay?
M: Um, I like sport, yes!
T: I bet you do, I bet you do!
M: As a matter of fact I'm very fond of cricket.
T: 'Oo isn't? Like games, eh? Knew you would. Likes games, eh? You've been around a bit, been around?
M: I have traveled, yes. I'm from Scarsdale.
T: SAY NO MORE!! Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore!
M: I wasn't going to!
T: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?

[Defender2]

Our leftists over hear are practicing that with our enemies now. I doubt they need any more lessons on the subject!!!!

[gargoyle]

...HOHOHOHEHEHEHAHAHA. This is a definite save. Good on yer!!!

[navyblue]

AC, are they planning this for both state and public schools?

[bolobaby]

Oh... my... GOD.

I was hoping to see that the article was dated 4/1/04, but no such luck.

[rdb3]

Just... Just...

You know.

A.K.A. Sleepy Brown

[I still care]

I would love to post a picture of a young child with oral herpes/gonorrhea here, but it would be too graphic and distressing for this site.

[skepsel]

Only the one...

[KarlInOhio]

From Monty Python's Meaning of Life

Headmaster: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.

[RightWingAtheist]

Castle Anthrax is obviously part of Exeter University.

[CzarNicky]

I always thought that was foreplay for the good stuff.

[Brimack34]

And Elders was fired by Billy for advacting Masterbation? Oh I guess I can see why Bill fired her.

[CyberAnt]

How about teaching young ladies to keep their pants on!

[Dan from Michigan]

Whoever proposed this bill will probably get 90% of the male vote in the next election. LOL.

[BlazingArizona]

They need classes for this in the UK?

Actually this is a brilliant idea. Teach it in class, and the kids will automatically space on completing their class assignmnets and homework. They will remain virgins until graduation.

[Cheapskate]

Do the little darlings get a certificate to put up on the wall?

Go to jolly old England where you can be a certified ... well, you know!

[Lancey Howard]

"And here I thought teaching kids to masturbate was a good idea. Why didn't I think of this??"
- - Dr. Joycelyn Elders

[Lancey Howard]

How about teaching young ladies to keep their pants on!

I think that's the idea here.