Nazi raccoons conquer Europe

Ananova ^ | 03/09/04 | Ananova

[Pikamax]

Nazi raccoons conquer Europe

Raccoons released by Hermann Goering in Germany in 1934 to "enrich the Reich's fauna" are threatening to succeed where their Nazi benefactors failed by conquering Europe.

They have become so successful that German authorities revealed this week that raccoon numbers are now at record levels - with more than a million in Germany alone.

In neighbouring Austria the first raccoons have also been spotted and info leaflets have been dispatched warning people against feeding or encouraging the North American natives.

Plans are being discussed to employ "raccoon hunters" to try and reduce the scale of the problem and put a bounty on raccoon pelts.

The first pair of raccoons were released at Kassel, in the wooded hill country north of Frankfurt, where there are now 100 raccoons per square kilometre - the same density as North America.

Residential homes in Kassel resemble fortresses with mesh wire covering all openings and spikes defending drainpipes and gutters. Rubbish bins are secured with bungee cords or padlocks.

Kassel has hired an animal control officer whose sole duty is to patrol the streets in search of raccoons and answer residents' appeals for help.

The city has even paid zoologists from a nearby university to tag and study raccoons in a bid to determine the scope of the problem.

"Kassel is definitely the raccoon capital of Europe," says Ulf Hohmann, head of the raccoon study project. "I'd say 50% of the residents here have had close encounters with raccoons, some of them on a repeated or even regular basis.

"Our job is to educate the public about these marvellous animals as we study their true impact on the European environment."

[Prodigal Son]

They wouldn't have coon problems if they let their people have guns.

They do. Hunting is popular in Germany.

[Bismarck]

Man, now you are talking nonsense. Are most Germans anti-American? Not at all... in fact, the next election will be won by the pro-American CDU/CSU/FDP coalition. Too bad that there are many loud far-left Germans actively spreading their anti-American nonsense online.

But, are you looking for real enemies? Have a look at countries where the vast majority of the population HATES the U.S.A.: Let's start with Saudi Arabia.

[Consort]

The Fourth Reich.

[Constitution Day]

I get your point. I hope you got mine.

[Prodigal Son]

I have German ancestry, and I don't mind "Kraut" in the least.

My wife and family are German and I don't like the word Kraut at all. But it does no good to ask anyone here to not use the word (or worse ones). They don't care.

[Bismarck]

Mais non! Je ne suis pas un francais... Hey, there are many French citizens living and working in the USA. Maybe try to know them and you will find out that they are not all like Chirac or Pepe Le Pew.

[Prodigal Son]

They are both exceedingly anti-American

My wife isn't exceedingly anti-American. Nor have I ever met an exceedinly anti-American German.

[Prodigal Son]

But, are you looking for real enemies?

Yep. You hit upon the truth there. You haven't been here very long so you wouldn't know. Take a look at his member page. Truly one of the most extreme freepers at FR. His idea of 'wishful thinking' is going to war with Germany- he's said as much before.

I wouldn't waste my time if I were you. There is a hardcore little group at FR that hate just about everybody and Germans in particular. You're not going to change their minds.

[BlueLancer]

"Not at all... in fact, the next election will be won by the pro-American CDU/CSU/FDP coalition."

Pro-American? Hardly. Less vocally anti-American? I could probably agree with that.

When I see international action on the part of the German government admitting that their previous UN stand and foreign policies with respect to Iraq were wrong, then I might be able to be convinced that the majority are not anti-American.

But I don't believe I'll ever have to do that because it won't happen.

[ladyjane]

If you want to see *real* nonsense and name calling you should troll over, excuse me amble over, to the Mel Gibson movie threads. Real intense food fights going on over there!

[7.62 x 51mm]

Bring back the old Davy Crockett (Fess Parker) movies, and start marketing those coonskin caps again! I had one as a kid, and I'd sure as heck buy another one.

[BlueLancer]

"Nor have I ever met an exceedinly anti-American German"

Don't get out much, eh?

[general_re]

Euro-weenie mammals capitulating in the face of robust American mammals.

That was fun. Let's do it again...

[mewzilla]

They should break out the comfy chairs! Paging La-Z-Boy...

[agrarianlady]

Let me say as one Kraut to another: get a thicker skin.
You're starting to sound French.

You mean something of the small, slimy, amphibious nature? ;-)

It's odd reading 1930s novels by authors like Dorothy Sayers, for example. You can tell she doesn't have a really racist bone in her body, but uses 'derogatory slang' in some of her novels quite freely.

I recall Basil Fawlty using the word "Kraut" in the episode called "The Germans".

My favorite line from same:

Well, you started it!
No, I didn't! You invaded Poland!

[Bismarck]

Why? I am a big Mel Gibson fan and I absolutely love his last movie, even though I am non-religious.

[Sabertooth]

My wife and family are German and I don't like the word Kraut at all. But it does no good to ask anyone here to not use the word (or worse ones). They don't care.

I think we go a long way toward mitigating ethnic and racial differences if we don't give so much power to the words. I don't care at all about "Kraut." I've got Irish in me, and don't care about "mick," "paddy wagon," or drunken Irish jokes.

I've got a daughter that's half-Philippino, and Asian and Pacific Islander are the current vogue terms. She doesn't mind them. She also doesn't mind "Oriental," though that term has recently fallen into PC disfavor.

She doesn't check ethnic or racial boxes on any forms, because that's the way I raised her. If our identities aren't wrapped up in our ancestires, how can we be hurt by perceived slurs on those ancestries?

[ZULU]

"Hunting is popular in Germany."

Apparently, not popular enough.

[Sabertooth]

Relating the Germans of nowadays to Adolf and his gang is as retarded as relating Americans of our generation to the KKK, General Custer, etc. - which, BTW, is being done by many Europeans of the far left.

But "Kraut" relates us to sour cabbage.

Eek.

[SAJ]

Touche! Wonderful response!