Mom and dad are still most important factor shaping young lives

St. Paul Pioneer Press ^ | 10/19/03 | Alvin Williams

[rhema]

There has been much talk lately about what and who have the greatest influence on our children. Some point to the Internet. Others identify celebrities, teachers, television and movies. According to a new poll, however, the answer lies closer to home: Most respondents believe parents still have the greatest influence on the character and future success of our children.

Black America's Political Action Committee's national survey of black registered voters placed parents at the top of the pyramid, ahead of athletes, performing artists, politicians, clergy and everyone else. In addition, 61 percent of the respondents said parents bear the most responsibility for seeing that their children are properly educated.

The fact that parents rank so high among blacks really should come as no surprise. That's the way it's always been. My parents provided the encouragement, love and stern discipline that helped shape my character. The same can be said by countless other black baby boomers raised in the 1950s and '60s in traditional two-parent families.

In some ways it was easier back then, before reality TV, explicit videos, the coast-to-coast drug culture and the sexual revolution. Seven days a week, 365 days a year, today's children are bombarded with images, ideas and information that clash with the notions of wrong and right being taught by their parents.

Today's children will leave their homes in the morning and will likely be assaulted by the latest "gangsta" rap song before they reach the bus stop. When they arrive at school, they'll be exposed to profanity and pressured by their peers to do things they shouldn't.

After school, they will turn on their televisions and choose between afternoon "soaps," the "reality" talk shows, MTV, BET, and VH1 — all of which offer "choices" that clash with the values their parents are attempting to impart. And if that's not enough, there's always the Internet, which offers both the best and worst society has to offer.

In addition to "competing" with these influences, today's parents also face another challenge: the prospect of raising their children alone. According to U.S. Census data, nearly two-thirds of black households are led by single parents, usually a single mother.

Since we continue to hold parents responsible for shaping the characters of our future leaders, it is important to understand the challenges parents face. And it is equally important to provide a prudent helping hand when we can.

For example, states need to make child support laws more stringent so single parents have the resources they need to raise their children. All too often this common "money squeeze" forces single parents to work multiple jobs, limiting the time they have to spend with their kids, making them more susceptible to destructive outside influences.

Employers have a role to play as well. In many cases, parents are torn between their duties at work and obligations at home.

Policies and practices such as "flextime," telecommuting and on-the-job day care can ease this burden, enabling them to be both better parents and more productive workers.

When we support parents we enable them to devote the time and energy that is necessary to counteract the negative influences surrounding their children.

Although times have changed drastically since the days when the "nuclear family" was the norm, the influence of parents has not changed. It was crucial then and it's crucial today.

Sure, the Internet, athletes, music artists, movies and television send our kids mixed signals, if not the wrong message altogether. But mom and dad still matter most.

Williams is president and CEO of Black America's Political Action Committee. He can be reached at 2029 P Street, NW, Suite 202, Washington, DC, 20036, or via e-mail at bampac@bampac.org.

[madprof98]

In addition to "competing" with these influences, today's parents also face another challenge: the prospect of raising their children alone. According to U.S. Census data, nearly two-thirds of black households are led by single parents, usually a single mother.

This is more than "another challenge": it's the heart of the problem facing African-Americans today. Black kids will continue to lag in every area except criminality unless somebody comes up with a better solution than tighter child-support laws and more flextime for working moms.

[jocon307]

here's a goodie

[billhilly]

Amen to that. Ironically, the same bad influences described here are usually exhibited by the parents. Fathers in name only, mothers with children having different fathers.

"Daddy brought me a bicycle for Christmas and shot the MF who was riding it."

To that very small percentage of two parent black families, my hat is off to you. You also have a very steep hill to climb. The government is not your friend either.