'Gay fatigue' claims another in its grip

Dallas Morning News ^ | October 11,2003 | Steve Blow

[Recourse]

'Gay fatigue' claims another in its grip 12:59 PM CDT on Saturday, October 11, 2003

By STEVE BLOW / The Dallas Morning News

I think I have "gay fatigue."

Don't worry, it's not catching. But I suspect that many of you have contracted it, too.

Let's talk.

Remember a few years ago when there was lots of talk about "compassion fatigue"? The news confronted us with so many problems, so the theory went, that our ability to feel compassion simply wore out.

If nothing else, it made a nice excuse for indifference.

But to some degree, it also made sense. And that's why I think I'm now suffering from gay fatigue. I'm just feeling kind of overwhelmed.

My moment of self-diagnosis came recently when I was looking through a list of upcoming movies on the Sundance Channel. That's a cable TV channel that shows independent films.

The movie descriptions read something like this:

"... the story of a brooding young lesbian coming to terms with her sexuality in the 1950s."

"... the story of a misunderstood gay teen confronting homosexuality, gangs and poor decorating in Brooklyn."

"... the story of a transgendered Jewish poet's struggle to reconcile love, faith and verse."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But I sure didn't want to watch.

I know I have a fairly acute case of gay fatigue because I have lost the will to watch Will & Grace.

Jack, who once seemed so funny, now just seems annoying. One less penis joke per episode would probably help.

And this is one straight guy who wouldn't let those Queer Eye guys anywhere near him. I could use their help. I just couldn't stand all their yapping.

My gay fatigue is distressing because I have long had a heart for gay people. Life has given them a raw deal.

I didn't choose whether I would be attracted to men or women. Those circuits got wired without my say-so. (But I'm happy with the way things turned out, if I may say so.)

Gays and lesbians don't get to choose their wiring, either. Yet their wiring subjects them to ridicule, discrimination, beatings and Jerry Falwell. That's not right.

So thank goodness for all the progress that has been made in righting wrongs.

Yet, at the same time, I can't deny my fatigue. It's the cumulative effect of so much controversy. Everything I watch and everything I read seems to dwell on the subject these days. If it's not irate Episcopalians, it's Britney and Madonna kissing.

We're guilty, too. Yesterday there was a special "National Coming Out Day" advertising section in the newspaper.

How about a "National Please Shut Up Day," I wanted to say.

Look, I'm not happy about these feelings. I don't want to be Archie Bunker barking, "Put a sock in it!" But on the other hand, maybe it's helpful to acknowledge such feelings and talk about them.

I suspect such fatigue has always been with us because society is always changing. And change is hard.

The pollsters talk a lot these days about a "gay backlash." After years of society's growing acceptance of gays, now there's a reverse trend of sorts.

My guess is that it's not really a deep change of heart. Most folks still support equal rights for gays. It's just gay fatigue. We're tired, and we're cranky.

Let's face it. Society is in the midst of enormous change on this issue. It's no wonder nerves are frazzled. The deal we once made with gays was this: You stay invisible, let us pretend you don't exist, and everything will be OK.

It's not surprising that once gays did kick open the closet door, they were more than a little miffed – and clamoring for attention. "We're here, we're queer, get used to it," as the chant went.

Maybe now it's time to simply reply, "You're gay, OK, we get it."

The irony is that most gay folks I know want nothing more than to live quiet, ordinary lives. Home. Church. Job. Family.

That's what all the fuss is about. And when that's won, peace and quiet is the prize we all will reap.

E-mail sblow@dallasnews.com

[martin_fierro]

I know I have a fairly acute case of gay fatigue because I have lost the will to watch Will & Grace.

I can honestly say I never had the will.

[Porterville]

I didn't choose whether I would be attracted to men or women. Those circuits got wired without my say-so. (But I'm happy with the way things turned out, if I may say so.)

Sounds like he is trying to convince himself..

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[Post Toasties]

Gays are, what, about 2% of the population? So, that's about the percentage of my attention span they get.

[Ferret Fawcet]

"most gay folks I know want nothing more than to live quiet ...lives. "

At the risk of sounding homophobic, isn't that basicly what they had before all this coming out, in-your-face business started?

"That's what all the fuss is about. And when that's won, peace and quiet is the prize we all will reap."

If they wanted peace and quiet they should have just stayed quiet instead of demanding everybody pay attention to them. Or is that an intolerant attitude for me to have?

[Larry Lucido]

Sounds like he is trying to convince himself..

Well, with a name like Steve Blow....

[subterfuge]

"Gays and lesbians don't get to choose their wiring, "

Not according to the professor out in CA who warns that women in particular often turn bisexual after taking their course in perversion.

[Cicero]

It still isn't known whether gays or lesbians are born with their predispositions. Further, it's not known whether some or all of them can be changed by counseling. There is some evidence on both sides of these questions.

More to the point, I don't have any desire to persecute gay people either. If they want to do what they do quietly, I don't like it but I'm happy to live and let live.

The problem, however, is not just gay fatigue. It's the desire of gay political leaders to impose their viewpoints on the country and allow no other points of view. It's also the desire of gay political leaders to insist that gays are BETTER than normal people, and to insist that school children should be taught to be gay, if possible. And, coming soon, that marriage should be extended to gay people. And, coming after that, that gay pederasty should be legalized.

No, I don't think so.

[AD from SpringBay]

Homosexuality is a bad choice. Get over it.

[Frapster]

Gays and lesbians don't get to choose their wiring, either.

I'm sure he meant plumbing. Homosexuality on the other hand is a formative process.

[HamiltonJay]

I have had this for at least the last 18 months...

Lets just use last Fridays NBC lineup for example:

Queer Eye.... FLaming
JAG ... subplot of ex military woman thanking main guy for letting her talk openly about her gayness....

What the hell can I turn on a tv without hearing about some characters sexual preclusions? Hell even military shows have to have some token limp wristed wink and nod ...

I'm sorry, I just don't care.

[Republic]

Dittoing the author's call for a :

NATIONAL SHUT-UP DAY!!!

OH YEAH! BIG TIME!

[Sinner6]

with a name like Steve Blow....

In the phone book that would be "Blow, Steve"

[Tank-FL]

I am over it . NO MORE GAYS ON TV. PLEASE

[Lucky Dog]

“It's not surprising that once gays did kick open the closet door, they were more than a little miffed – and clamoring for attention. "We're here, we're queer, get used to it," as the chant went.” ……………………………..

“The irony is that most gay folks I know want nothing more than to live quiet, ordinary lives. Home. Church. Job. Family”

---

Does this author have a clue what logical thinking is?

---

[trek]

The real problem here is pervasive sex in the culture in general and in the media in particular. Once the door was open to heterosexual sex on television then it was only logical that the demands of the homosexuals to "be included" would follow. How about a return to the days when society in general considered sex to be a wonderful thing that people kept to themselves!

[MissAmericanPie]

Will and Grace? I thought that is what one counted on to overcome sin in their lives. The bible certainly doesn't leave any wiggle room on homosexuality being a choice, and a deviant one at that, a choice that also leads to corruption in many other areas of the persons life that ends in death of the soul, not to do with wiring at all.

The real fatigue is seeing Christians charged with hate speech for attempting to save the sinners enternal life by warning them of the cliff ahead, when I believe most Christians get drug into those fights defending the bible against those who would twist or deny it's meaning.

It's fine by me if the homosexual decides to reject scriptures as long as he doesn't attempt to twist them. It's fine by me if homosexuals reject Christians as Christians are certainly told to reject the membership and brotherhood of worship, of not only homosexuals, but other sinners who deny their sins and call God a liar.

Personally, I am not into telling anyone how to conduct their lives, but when they attack the content of the bible by either denying or twisting it's clear message in my presence, they will have to deal with me.=o)

[nothingnew]

My MO has and will always be: I don't care what or who you do. Just shut up about it and leave me and mine the phuk alone!

FMCDH

[LizardQueen]

How about a "National Please Shut Up Day

ROFL.... How about "National Please Shut Up Year" instead?

This is a really startling article - it's from a mainstream newspaper, and it was gutsy of the guy to write considering the screeching complaints that he's going to get.

If something like this is showing up in the mainstream press it demonstrates that gay fatigue is setting in in even non-right-wing areas.

LQ