Posted on 05/09/2023 12:44:52 PM PDT by Red Badger
With the advent of smart phones, people do a lot while they're using the toilet these days.
So much so, that employers have been looking for smart solutions to get people off the toilets and back to work, up to installing whole new slanted toilets.
Check out these slanted toilets designed to keep you off your phone while you poop at work
Since Taro Gomi first published his children's book in 1977, we all know that Everyone Poops. So don't get all uptight that I'm writing an article about pooping. Okay?
But some toilet manufacturers are pushing back.
What if we could make use of all the time people spent sitting on the toilet and do something health-conscience while they're there anyway?
Introducing the first smart toilet seat, Casana's Heart Seat™.
Here's a pic of the inner workings of this mysterious addition to your porcelain throne:
Heart Seat currently includes a ballistocardiogram (which measures the mechanical activity of the heart), an electrocardiogram (which measures the electrical activity of the heart), and the difficult-to-read "photoplethysmogram" (which detects blood volume changes).
It just received FDA approval.
After taking your measurements, Heart Seat connects to WiFi and sends that information to Casana's cloud, then to your medical providers.
Even while you're pooping, you'll have your team of medical professionals watching over you!
In simplified terms, it means you can replace your flesh-and-blood nurse with a toilet.
(My wife, a registered nurse, gave me a Paddington stare after that joke).
I have to wonder though. How does the Heart Seat control for vital sign changes from things like eating a spicy burrito?
Heaven knows, you don't want paramedics bursting into the restroom every time you you get heavy handed with the hot sauce.
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A “smart toilet seat that might save my life” would be one that dropped the seat after I peed, so my wife wouldn’t fall in.
Amen, brother. "Look before you leap" just doesn't cut it for the womenfolk...
This article seems ‘slanted’ towards more gov. control - now even of your bathroom habits!
Just wait until someone ‘hacks’ it..........................
You have got to be $h!tt!ng me! Really!!
I think the Japanese have one....................
I don’t like going to my “medical professional” at any time, least not while I’m on the toilet. That’s just utterly stupid. Talk about solving a problem that doesn’t exist.
And I’ll sit as long as I darn well please.
Does that mean you have to log in, so to speak?
Just another way of continually tracking and monitoring you.
I’m all for busing em’ out.
It wouldn’t do me any good. I defecate standing up.
Yep.
Probably has some secretive, punitive zaps built in too!
So, you’re Joe Biden.
Imagining how these will fair when the office buffalo sits down and destroys it.
You’re on to me. I’ve outed myself.
The comments are better than the article.
I don’t need electronics in my shxtter seat. Probably does a mRNA test and injects you if negative.
Maybe assigns dumps per person and is recorded and sent to the government for ESG payment.
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