Posted on 08/30/2022 4:03:16 AM PDT by sodpoodle
A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."
"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f***ing wall."
God Bless
Lol!
I know Morris. He’s an old widower.
I remember one day he went to that Roman Catholic Church out by the Kotel.
He marched right through the church to the confessional, sat down, and started talking to the priest. “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I’ve been having wild sex with a 22 year old girl from New York City. She’s beautiful, a model for Estee Lauder and Victoria Secret. We just hit it off. Not sure how it happened. Just constant sex. I didn’t even go to synagogue this Shabbos . . “
The priest interrupted Morris. “Synagogues?! Shabbos? Are you Jewish? Why are you telling me?”
“Oh,” answered Morris. “I’m telling everyone!”
+1.
Good one!
👍
One day her teacher, a nun, called on Carol while she was sleeping in class.
“Tell me, Carol, who created the universe?”
When Carol didn’t stir, little Johnny, who was her friend sitting behind her,
took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
“God Almighty!” shouted Carol.
The nun said, “Very good,” and continued teaching her class.
A little later the nun asked Carol, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But Carol didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came
to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.
“Jesus Christ !!!” shouted Carol.
And the nun once again said, ‘Very good,’ and Carol fell back asleep.
The nun asked her a third question....”What did Eve say to Adam
after she had her twenty-third child?”
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Carol jumped up and shouted,
“If you stick that thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”
The nun fainted.
.
In my version of the joke, Morris sees his friends on the beach after having been absent for a few weeks.
“The most wonderful thing has happened. I’ve met a women in her 20’s, we’re in love, and we’re going to get married.”
His friends nod their heads, and one replies, “Isn’t sex at your age dangerous?”
Morris replies, “If she dies, she dies.”
😀 I shoulda seen that coming!😀
THAT made my first smile for the day!
Thanks!
That’s the spirit!
Thanks for a good start to the day.
I visited the Western Wall and felt extremely awkward. I was embarrassed to intrude on something I could tell was sacred. There many foreigners there, taking selfies and acting like tourists. I apologized to an old Orthodox Jew and told him I was embarrassed for their behavior. He blessed me.
Prayer sometimes feels like you’re talking to a wall.
Two Jews are lined up in front of a Nazi firing squad.
The SS Captain looks at them and barks,
“Any last words, Juden?!”
The first Jew spits at the Captain
and shouts, “F*CK HITLER!”
The second Jew whimpers,
“shhhh, you’ll make them angry…”
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