[sodpoodle]

add yours:)

[sodpoodle]

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=big+bad+don+youtube+video&docid=608007764060408656&mid=80228CA051E80284700680228CA051E802847006&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

[RckyRaCoCo]

Heh, excellent!...(copy/paste)thanks!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Madam I’m Adam.

A man, a plan, a canal. Panama!

[Mark]

Here goes! Next to last one was great.

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat is worse.

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation, “Maybe next time”, isn’t the correct response.

Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “life in prison” is a deterrent.

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought, “Their cornbread ain’t done in the middle.”

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I miss the 90’s, when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate”

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of… it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I thought getting old would take longer.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started.

Me: Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore… I’m not going to let you hurt me again.” Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.”

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test… same thing .

[bert]

The comments on age are really not justified. Bad attitude

“don’t let the old man in” Toby Keith on Clint Eastwood

[Fiddlstix]

Bookmark

[Inyo-Mono]

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

Good stuff!

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

lolol spelled backwards is still lolol!

[dp0622]

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster. Now I have to sit here until both of us are dead...

And of course if someone tailgates me i slow down to 2.4 mph.

WHY???!

It must be inner rage coming out :)

Great one liners.

With all the miserable news about our enemies being posted here, this was a welcome relief

[SES1066]

Bookmark

[moovova]

I send all of your postings to my wife.

That’s why we’re still married.

[aquila48]

Bookmark

[BitWielder1]

I did what I had to do. Now I have to remember what it was and why.

Once you're finally starting to understand what life is all about, it's over.

Getting old - everything is stiff except that one thing.

I'm still a young man inside. A.k.a. childish.

When I was very young, the only things I knew to do with girls was tease them, scare them or gross them out. I can still gross them out.

What do old people do all day? Looking. Looking for eyeglasses, hearing aids, socks, newspapers, whatever... Except when trying to remember what we were looking for.

I dread the day when my eyesight gets so bad I can't find my glasses.

[Ken H]

I can remember when it was Lieutenant Tso’s chicken.

[TexasKamaAina]

ping

[LastDayz]

This thread is chock full of humor as well.

https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3890611/posts

[Paleo Pete]

embargo backwards is ograbme

I woke up today feeling like a million bucks...
all green and wrinkled.

[outofsalt]