Posted on 11/18/2019 8:56:17 PM PST by Kevin in California
Winning post! #19
Good wordsmithing
Democrats are farting on us with their impeachment nonsense.
Swalwell’s denial of his fart show Democrat inability to come to terms with reality.
Hey, everything these days is all Trump’s fault and Swalwell’s farting is simply more grounds for impeachment.
How dare you embarrass Democrats!
Wolfgang Mozart had something of a fart fetish. He wrote diaries full of those jokes. Wrote letters about the diaries to his mother, who seemed to also think they were funny. He composed a few suites and canons devoted to scatology topics. Hey, when you’re the main breadwinner for your family, they tend to put up with a lot of loopy behavior.
Eric Swalwell has got to be the absolute stupidest human being on Earth. Right up there with Mexican Bob aka Beto. Really, the two are world class stupid. And two guys more in need of a beating than God knows what.
Eric Swampsmell ..
If he did that in church, he’d have to sit in his own pew
The fact of the matter is,,,he is in training. This is what the dems do best.
s
The fact of the matter is, he is in training. He did not even break 0.00% in the primaries.....so he defaulted to what hi best skil is. HE WILL SOON CHALLENGE farting champion at the farting post. What he passed was the simple flutter-blast.He demonstratedated no motor control release.To win he will have to conquer wins complete control the magnificent flutter blast.The thunder roll is simply a farting power demonstration requiring no finesse. Show of defiance mean littele when being judged by past champions.. As one approaches “ show- time” conditions can make the difference. Odor can push one over the top...cabbage. red bean and the omnipresent Mexican food topped off by several laggers. Finally control. Most finish up with finely controlled squeakers....sometimes a perfected staccato as the strain for that last hifi pitch passing....THEN silence and a slow walk around...then a post with gluteal flaps raised. If,however the bowels are not contained game over the walk of shame. Bowel action is an automatic disqualified.
The fact of the matter is,,,he is in training. This is what the dems do best.
s
The fact of the matter is, he is in training. He did not even break 0.00% in the primaries.....so he defaulted to what hi best skil is. HE WILL SOON CHALLENGE farting champion at the farting post. What he passed was the simple flutter-blast.He demonstratedated no motor control release.To win he will have to conquer wins complete control the magnificent flutter blast.The thunder roll is simply a farting power demonstration requiring no finesse. Show of defiance mean littele when being judged by past champions.. As one approaches “ show- time” conditions can make the difference. Odor can push one over the top...cabbage. red bean and the omnipresent Mexican food topped off by several laggers. Finally control. Most finish up with finely controlled squeakers....sometimes a perfected staccato as the strain for that last hifi pitch passing....THEN silence and a slow walk around...then a post with gluteal flaps raised. If,however the bowels are not contained game over the walk of shame. Bowel action is an automatic disqualified.
“Is he covered by whistleblower protection?”
I’m stealing that!
I’m tired of hearing these assholes!
“It was the dog, not me”
For someone who claims firsthand they did not do it, there’s plenty of hearsay proving otherwise...and we all know hearsay kicks eyewitness testimony’s butt.
A teenage boy is invited for lunch at his girlfriend’s house.
Because he made some bad food choices earlier, he simply has to fart when they’re all at the table.
The girlfriend’s dad shouts at the large dog sitting under the boy’s chair: „Rex!”
Seeing that the father thought it was the dog, the boy is much relieved.
A minute later the boy has to fart again – and again audibly. The father snaps at the dog again: “REX!!”
The boy is relieved again that the father thought it was the dog.
Ten minutes later the boy farts again.
The father shouts: “Rex, come here before that boy craps on your head.”
A teenage boy is invited for lunch at his girlfriend’s house.
Because he made some bad food choices earlier, he simply has to fart when they’re all at the table.
The girlfriend’s dad shouts at the large dog sitting under the boy’s chair: „Rex!”
Seeing that the father thought it was the dog, the boy is much relieved.
A minute later the boy has to fart again – and again audibly. The father snaps at the dog again: “REX!!”
The boy is relieved again that the father thought it was the dog.
Ten minutes later the boy farts again.
The father shouts: “Rex, come here before that boy craps on your head.”
Will Trump retweet. That’s the question here
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