"Must be a Board Meeting."
And now for something completely different.
Why did you say Burma?
I panicked!
‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
In my house whenever one of us has eaten too much and really can’t eat anymor, we say, “I have reached wafer” or “I have wafered”.
“What’s on the telly?”
“Looks like a penguin!”
Coconuts
Of course, a lot of the sketches were really bad.
Monty Python is much better today because we can just make compilations of the good parts.
I didn’t expect a Spanish Inquisition!
“So, it will grow back then”
L
Song Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor and gives to the rich
Stupid bitch.
Moore What did you sing?
Singers (speaking) We sang... he steals from the poor and gives to the rich.
Moore Wait a tic ... blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around saying, "I was an emperor just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me" they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you here that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?
Probably one of the most overrated comedy troupe
I’d like to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles.
In My (very) Humble Opinion, English ‘humor’ is most often lame.
Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!
Ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the earth...Mash that dirty red scum, kick ‘em in the teeth where it hurts. Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate ‘em! I hate ‘em! Aaargh! Aaargh!
42
Life imitating art.
We now have to deal with Life of Brian’s Loretta.
Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?
Stan: I want to be one.
Reg: What?
Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’.
Reg: What?
Stan: It’s my right as a man.
Judith: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?
Stan: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But... you can’t have babies!
Stan: Don’t you oppress me!
Reg: I’m not oppressing you, Stan! You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
Stan: [starts to cry]
"Must be a Board Meeting."
Big game insect hunting.
A memo sent between senior executives reveals that the first episode achieved 1.5 million viewers with an audience appreciation (based on a small number of viewers paid to value what they watched) of 45 (out of 100). In comparison, the Rolf Harris Show (though in a primetime slot, and with a presenter then seen as a lovable family entertainer, rather than the convicted sex offender he later became) attracted 11 million viewers and a 64 enjoyment score.