Posted on 11/08/2018 4:30:44 AM PST by sodpoodle
Q
You know why Texas doesn’t fall into the Gulf of Mexico?
A
Oklahoma sucks....
(I’m from Tahlequah)
Stupid smart phone tried to ruin my joke...
What did the West Virginia gal say when she lost her virginity?
Git offa me deddy yer crushin’ muh Marlboros.
Isn’t everyone?
Did you mean:
What does a Southern divorce and a tornado have in common?
Someone’s gonna lose a trailer.
LOL!
During our 55 year marriage, my wife and I have lived in 5 southern states, some multiple times - pesky bill collectors ya know. One thing that we have found amusing is same border state rivalry jokes are told only the names reversed.
In Alabama: What has eight breasts and four teeth? That would be the night crew at a Georgia Waffle House.
In Georgia: The river that forms the north border with Alabama is in places quite narrow and the favorite fishing spot for two Alabama boys is about 100 yards below a footbridge. All of a sudden rocks start landing in the water right where they a fishing. They see two boys on the opposite bank so one Alabama boy yells, hey Georgia boy, stop throwing rocks because we are fishing over here. A few seconds later ker plunk, ker plunk. Same boy yells, hey Georgia boy what is your name. Boy yells back, my name is Clarence! Alabama boy, well Clarence, throw one more rock and I will come over there and kick your butt. A few seconds and ker plunk, ker plunk. Alabama boy to his buddy, going over and make that Georgia boy wish he hadn’t been born. Only a couple of minutes later he is back and says, we need to move on down river a little bit. His buddy says, thought you were going to kick his butt. Alabama boy says I was, but I ain’t no fool, when I got to the bridge there was a sign that said CLEARANCE 7’ 2’
Bkmk
Instant Rimshot:
http://instantrimshot.com/
Did ya hear about the Aggie that moved from Texas to Oklahoma?
Yeah. He raised the IQ level in BOTH states.
It’s a fact, Jack. In the 40s and 50s, any soda drink was called Coke. Every candy bar was a Hershey. Among the Texas kiddie set, anyway.
Spent a fair amount of time among St. Louis’s Sicilian folks.
This was an oldie even back then:
How can you tell if a helicopter is Italian?
It goes wap, wap, wap, wap...
Yep. Pepsi HQ in Harrison, NY. Coca-Cola HQ in Atlanta. You do the math...
I used to do lots of business in the South. I always smiled when I heard the old timers there call it a co-cola rather than a Coke.
When traveling in south Georgia on business, I made the mistake of calling the nuts peeecan. I was corrected by a sweet elderly southern woman (I knew I was in for it when she started with "Why bless your heart...").
"Honey. A peee can is what you put by your bed at night. A peecon is what you eat"
#36 You might be a redneck if you and your dog use the same tree.....
:)
Why do Clempson fans wear orange?
So they can pick up trash along the side of the roads during the week, then go to the game on Saturday.
It’s generally not advisable to debate southernisms with older southern ladies, as I have known some that see stubbornness as an art form.
Got any ID?
I’m still LMAO
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