An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘Who wasa da piga thata did this a you? I wannna know!’
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with gray hair who is impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
“Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.’
‘ I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account..
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account!
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?’
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him.
“You a-gonna try again.”
LOL!
I used to be married but I’m feeling much better now!
An elderly widow and widower were sitting on a park bench, discussing the possibility of marriage to each other.
Widow: “What about sex?”
Widower: “Infrequently.”
Widow: “Is that one word or two?”
An old widower walks into a bar and sits down next to a very attractive woman. He is dressed well and well groomed. He looks at the woman and asks, “Do I come here often?”