An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, ‘Who wasa da piga thata did this a you? I wannna know!’
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.
A mature and distinguished man with gray hair who is impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:
“Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.’
‘ I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account..
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account!
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?’
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him.
“You a-gonna try again.”
Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.
At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna tell his wife?”
They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse.
“Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.”
Goldberg goes over to the Meyer’s condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: “Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home.”
“Tell him to drop dead!” yells the wife.
“I’ll go tell him.” says Goldberg.