Posted on 06/01/2018 4:20:36 AM PDT by sodpoodle
1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
5. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
6. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
7. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
8. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
10. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
12.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
13. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
14. Why is "phonetic" not spelled the way it sounds?
15. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
16. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
17. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
19. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
20. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
21. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
22. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
23. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
24. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
25. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
26. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
27. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Oxymorons = people who take Oxycontin.
This sounds like a George Carlin joke list.
Why do we take a dump…when actually we leave one.
Nice.
Memories of George Carlin.
Why is there an Interstate highway in Hawaii?
Or drive on the parkway and park in the driveway ?
https://www.thoughtco.com/best-george-carlin-quotes-of-all-time-3958721
He died June 22, 2008. Quite young - and a big loss.
Why do they call them apartments when they’re all stuck together?
I saw a flip show the other night and they were “dismantling” the kitchen. Dose that mean when they were rebuilding they were “mantling” the kitchen?
Good one - now use “condominium” (and be careful) LOL!!!!
Well, no. Sure the actual dirt is off but you still have lots of skin cells that are sloughing off especially when you are drying yourself. Those get caught by the towel and have to be washed off of it.
Now there is a school of thought that says that you should not rub those cells off as they are part of your body's defense system. You should air dry instead.
*****there is a school of thought*****
Only one student??? ;)
2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
Or if dictionary online tells you how to pronounce a word incorrectly, like KILN... The “N” is SILENT! It is an oven to fire pottery. I have made pottery for 60+ years. The N is SILENT!
Sounds like a Steven Wright routine! Or Steve Martin.... etc. Great stuff!
Haha
Why do you cut a tree down, and then cut it up?
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