Posted on 11/19/2017 5:21:09 AM PST by SandRat
Boy, there just isn’t anything that goes together better than nudity and raw meat. A group of beauty contestants in Brazil recently sported bikinis made of uncooked meat to highlight their opposition to the sexual harassment of women. The name of the pageant they were participating in is called the Miss Bumbum Brazil pageant. The purpose of the contest is to find the Brazilian woman with the best buttocks.
The message the women were trying to send was that they were “not just a piece of meat.” That might have sounded a little confusing to people who were trying to judge them on the attributes of the fleshiest part of their voluptuous bodies. Fortunately, the judges focused on their task. Focused like a Bill Clinton laser beam on the economy, that is.
Besides, Lady Gaga already blew up that can of stew meat seven years ago at the Video Music Awards. She accepted her award for video of the year in a dress made entirely of raw meat. She afterward had to explain to all her enraged vegan fans that she wore the dress to protest the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy at the time. She said her message was, “If we don't stand up for what we believe in, if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our bones.”
Oh, I get it. OK, maybe not.
I am just full of questions about these meat outfits. Is there a butcher shop they go to, or is there something like a “Big and Raw” clothing store they patronize? Do they have changing rooms for meat clothing? Are the changing rooms refrigerated? What do you do if the meat dress doesn’t fit? Do you put it back on the rack? Can you sit in a meat bikini? How do you clean a meat dress? Can you iron a meat skirt, or do you use a sandwich press grill?
I'm trying to figure out what would be an appropriate venue for wearing meat clothing. It is not likely I'd be getting an award at the VMAs, and I don't think I will be participating in any Bumbum pageants. Paris just opened a new nude restaurant called the "O’naturel” that might be an appropriate place for meat clothes. You are required to take your clothes off once you arrive, but if you’re wearing meat, you could just hand them to the cook to prepare for your meal.
I’m not sure what you’d wear when you left, though. I guess you could request some doggie bags to cover up with on the way home, but that could get awkward if all they have are those styrofoam boxes. Fortunately, local butchers in Paris have a potential answer. Meat vending machines. Yes, you read that right, meat vending machines in the City of Light!
The Germans pioneered the idea, of course, but now Parisians can get steak and sausage at any time of the day or night. Thus, patrons at the O’naturel now have an option if they end up eating their meat clothes for dinner. They may want to book an early table though because it might be embarrassing if all the porterhouse steaks are gone from the vending machine by the time they leave the restaurant. I’m not sure that beef tips would do the trick.
In any case, kudos to the Bumbum woman for standing up against sexual harassment by wearing raw meat. Nothing says, “I’m not a piece of meat” more than wearing meat-kinis.
Christopher Zimmerman is a stable manager from Whetstone who masquerades as a humor writer when not recovering from riding accidents. He may be reached at zimmermc@powerc.net.
I thought this was about that video of Hillary.
Skirt steak smothered in panty hose.
I had an argument with a vegetarian and I'm sure it will come up again at Thanksgiving dinner. I maintain that eggs are meat. The vegetarian insists that eggs are not meat. How can that be so, I retort, for eggs are baby chickens not yet hatched? Anyway, I'm glad that the vegetarian eats eggs as that is an excellent source of protein for her and women need protein in their bodies whether they admit to it or not. But I like to be on point when it comes to meat and I say eggs are meat and I'm sticking to it.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, does anybody out there add raw eggs to their in-bird stuffing mix? I do. It holds the stuffing together and makes the stuffing nice and firm so that it slides out of the bird in one piece! Then you can slice it up and service. Yes, stuffing! I'm talking stuffing here that you can slice with a knife and so good. I put a full dozen raw eggs into the bowl of stuffing before putting it into the bird cavity. I'm talking 24-28 pound turkey here!
Steak in a skillet and finished in the oven is the best. Especially cool is that you can get great results straight from the freezer.
Unless you purchase fertilized eggs, there are no baby chickens inside. The egg is meant to nourish the growing embryo with the yolk, while cushioning it with the white. The egg is made up of animal proteins, carbohydrates, and lipids--so, even if not technically meat, it *is* an animal product.
Since this is Thanksgiving, I will not go into any details. However, I will say that commercial egg ranches do not keep any roosters. (Even if they sell fertilized eggs, they only need one rooster per dozen or so hens.) However, when baby chicks are produced for use in egg production, half of them are baby roosters. I will leave it up to you to figure out the disparity. Don't mention it to your vegetarian relative.
Thank you for the informative post!
You’re welcome!
“The message the women were trying to send was that they were “not just a piece of meat.””
Come on, ladies. Nobody wants to eat your buttocks, even if they were voted the best in Brazil.
That sounds like some population control logic by an Abortionist.
Not at all.
Well, I'm going to say it. If you don't want to be ogled, groped and harassed then don't put it out there.
That is disrespecting the animal that meat came from. Same as the vegetarian I know who orders pepperoni pizza and tosses the meat in the garbage.
There was a reality show a few years back where one airhead said she wouldn't eat eggs because they were little aborted chickens... sigh.
If you really want a reaction, refer to eggs as aborted chickens.
#4 and #2. Winner and runner-up. The other three look like trannies.
The one second from the right looks just like a young Sally Field. Yeah, I know, you guys weren’t looking at the faces.
The chick with rose tattoos from Goias is the winner in my book.
Oddly, I didn’t see any meat skirts in the photos.
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