"Ah, mom, you know I'm not like other guys. I'm nervous and my socks are too loose."
Posted on 11/17/2017 5:23:30 AM PST by SandRat
Dear Mrs. C:
Our son, “Waldo,” loves Buena — to the point that his dad and I are feeling left out.
He is a sophomore and comes up with any excuse to stay there after school — sports, clubs, etc. He usually doesn’t arrive home until 4:30 or so. He maintains good grades, but is less connected with us that he used to be. In fact, he even talks about his college and career plans. We miss him already (he is our baby)! Do you have any suggestions?
Signed:
Concerned Parents
Dear CP’s:
Yes. Be thankful.
Your Waldo sounds like a normal (if there is such a thing) teen. Friends having more of a pull that parents? Check. Loves to hang out after school at clubs and sports? Check. Talking more about college and his future plans? Check. Yup, right smack in the middle of the ‘normal for teens’ spectrum. Worry not.
But … what you can do is share your expectations of his after-school activities. You’re in charge of Waldo, but my two cents worth would be that if he continues to maintain good grades, then he is fine to stay after school for activities. If his grades slip, then I would reel him in a day or two after school for KTHTT (Kitchen Table Homework Therapy Time). That prescription is a miracle drug … a couple of days of that and — bam! — homework done/handed in on time and grades rise like a phoenix from the Earth.
I would avoid saying, “Waldo! Hey, it’s us, dear old Mom and Dad – look at us! Do you remember these faces? We have raised you for 15 years. Now, all of a sudden, we don’t see you as much. Do you not love us anymore? Are Trixie and Bubbles and after-school activities more important to you than rushing right home after school to have quality time with your parental units? Even Fluffy and Fang sometimes growl when they see you … as if saying, ‘who is this stranger in our house?’”
Rather, you might try this approach: “Waldo, dear one, have we told you lately how much we love you? All day long we look forward to having you return home from Buena. Why? Because we want to know what you did at school, how you are feeling, how we can help you, and what your latest joys and dreams and goals are. And we especially enjoy the dinnertime conversations, and the occasional games of RumiKube and Scrabble. And pick-up games of hoops between you and Dad.”
Be encouraged: even when kids go off to college, or the world of work, they – like cats – tend to return home with regularity. Sometimes even with dirty laundry, and tummies growling for Mom’s home cooking.
One last suggestion: Get a puppy.
Hope this helps!
— Mrs. C
Poor kid.
No wonder he’s pulling away from smothering, overbearing parents like that. I would want to, too.
Sounds like the kid is more mature than his parents.
Our wonderful son Waldo has been accepted to Evergreen College, but he seems more distant than ever. Any advice?
Dear CPs,
Knock that boy in the head and get him out of California. The last time you wrote I thought it was just a kid growing to be an adult. Nope. Full scale rebellion and a rejection of everything holy and just. Probably need to get him drug tested weekly. And STD tested.
I would have suggested Hillsdale College, but that college is not a psychiatric ward, no matter how many parents send their kids off to there to get “cured”.
Sorry for the previous bad advice. next time, talk to G_d and not some intern at a failing newspaper.
Mrs. C
My response: Waldo is growing up. You should try it.
Dear CPs:
Count your blessings that, in 20 years, “Waldo” won’t be wasting his Sociology degree blogging from your basement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0
Truly the pinnacle of that sublime art form, the ‘80’s music video...
Just be glad the kid isn’t in Delaware schools. The public school “education” administrators here are working on a diversity protection plan that will allow the kid to pick his own sex and race without the need to get the parents involved.
Elaine Carlson rejoice and stop being helicopter parents.
Sounds like your son is on the right track which leads away from home.
One of our younger relatives, a 16 year old lad is at home by himself as his sister is out of state in college.
He leaves home at 6 am to get to a private school and gets back home at about 6:30 pm due to athletic and learning on his part.
His mother was complaining about his absence to my wife.
My wife told her to enjoy it and to welcome whatever time they have together. His dad and uncles did the same in their high school.
When I was in H.S. I was around some evenings and occasional weekends. Sports and Friends and Ball Games and Practices and Homework and, and and....take up a lot of time. Mom and Dad were equally busy.
Friends usually landed at my house though, when we landed somewhere. Mom was an excellent cook, and that wasn't lost on hungry teenage boys. Someone should tell the author of this piece, that.
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