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[Satire] Travelocity Demands Investigation Into United Airlines Incident
FreeRepublic ^ | 12 April 2017 | COBOL2Java

Posted on 04/12/2017 11:54:15 AM PDT by COBOL2Java

The popular travel discount company Travelocity is calling for an investigation after its Gnome spokesperson was severely mistreated today by a private security detail associated with United Airlines.

The incident began when the "Roaming Gnome" was scheduled to film a new commercial in New York City. He was seated in the plane when a United employee announced that, due to overbooking, four passengers had to be bumped from the flight. United offered seats on a next-day flight, along with an extra bag of peanuts. When no one took the offer, they upped the offer to a seat with extra leg room and a Colin Kaepernick headband.

Nobody took the offer, so they randomly picked four passengers, including the Gnome. He objected, saying that he was due in New York on a tight schedule.

Details from this point on are sketchy, but an arument ensued, and United Airlines called a security detail, dressed in full riot gear, to forcibly remove the diminutive passenger from the plane. Fellow passengers were shocked when one of the officers struck the "Roaming Gnome" with a billy club. A United Airlines attendant then used a broom and dustpan to sweep up the remains of the now-former passenger.

United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz expresses deep regret for the actions, and promises quick action on this incident.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Gardening; Travel
KEYWORDS:
The "Roaming Gnome" is recovering at Travelocity's Private Resort.


1 posted on 04/12/2017 11:54:15 AM PDT by COBOL2Java
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To: COBOL2Java

This is SCREAMING to be done as a parody video on YouTube.


2 posted on 04/12/2017 11:59:52 AM PDT by Ciaphas Cain (The choice to be stupid is not a conviction I am obligated to respect.)
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To: Ciaphas Cain

I am really waiting for Southwest Airlines to tackle this topic.


3 posted on 04/12/2017 12:06:14 PM PDT by ptsal
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To: COBOL2Java

An extra bag of peanuts, LOL.


4 posted on 04/12/2017 12:15:16 PM PDT by Rusty0604
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