Posted on 03/16/2017 4:20:37 AM PDT by sodpoodle
>>>>> CHILDLIKE HONESTY ….These are cute ________________________________ Children are so honest !! While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, “I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.”
Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.
>>>>>>>>> Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.
“No, no, no!” she screamed.
“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.”
With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!”
******
On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommie’s tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?” After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don’t have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”
*****
Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I’m going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I’m going to Iraq.”
“Why?” he asked. “Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?”
*****
Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?”
Blank stares.
“Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.”
An eight-year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing?”
*****
And a personal favorite…
God’s Problem Now!
His wife’s graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.”
Keep a SMILE on your face ~ And a SONG in your heart!
>>>>>>>>> A smile - is a sign of joy.
>>>>>>>>> A hug - is a sign of love.
>>>>>>>>> A laugh - is a sign of happiness.
>>>>>>>>> And a friend like me? - Well that’s just a sign of good taste!
>>>>>>>>> We’ll be friends until I’m senile.
>>>>>>>>> Then we’ll be NEW friends!
Now a NAUGHTY;)
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to...a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final ‘Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ and rode off.
“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service-station attendant. “Nothing,” the woman answered “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”
“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians don’t use saddles.”
SUPER - thanks.......
You are so welcome and thanks for the responses. I get great joke emails from a dear friend, every day, and try to post a thread. However, there are often not many responses. I wish FR still recorded the number of ‘views’ to get a feel for how popular our threads are.
God bless
So nice to have some ‘clean’ jokes to share. Thanks!
OBAMA is no longer in the White House. Makes me feel so good!
I heard that Trump has this bumper sticker on his Trump Plane: “My Other Jet is Air Force One.”
I love the jokes, keep ‘em coming.
Yeeeeha !
Mercier
Thanks, do you always use the same header or have a ping list?
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
They said Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You’re not fat, you’re just... easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Best Protest Sign;)
“I LIVE in constant fear Trump WILL DEPORT MY LATINO MOTHER-IN-LAW,
WHO LIVES AT 1837 E. 3RD STREET,
LOS ANGELES, CA 90023
THE BLUE HOUSE.
SHE GETS OFF WORK AT 6:00.”
No Ping List yet;)
I change the Header, i.e. Lighten the Load, Rib Tickler Tuesday. Saturday Snickers. Friday Fun. etc.
Also get great Graphics but cannot copy them on this laptop.
Thanks, poodle, always enjoy your smiling posts.
Your Holy Humor post some months ago was copied and kept. It continues to bring a smile each time it is read.
Wagging my tail as I depart,
with a smile in my heart.
Well, those jokes made the rounds in my email contacts....
Thanks again.
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