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Rob Bell Lists Mint Condition Bible On Craigslist (satire)
The Babylon Bee ^ | 9/27/16 | Staff

Posted on 09/28/2016 2:59:44 PM PDT by fungoking

An anonymous tipster pointed out to media outlets Tuesday that author, speaker, and former pastor Rob Bell had listed his Bible on the Los Angeles Craigslist for sale section.

The post inadvertently revealed Bell’s identity, as the Bible had his name embossed in gold on the front cover, though it was clear from the image the sacred tome had never once been opened in his years of owning the beautiful version of the holy Scriptures.

“One Bible, never used,” the ad read. “$5 obo. You pick up. No guarantees as to accuracy of the contents of the book—all sales final. Will consider trades for books by Oprah or any other new age gurus. Call or text, ask for Rob.”

The tipster also noted similar posts with the same contact phone number, all attempting to sell or trade various copies of the Bible and other books on orthodox theology, all in pristine condition, without a hint of wear.

According to sources close to Bell, the author and speaker eventually accepted a trade, giving up the holy, eternal Word of God in exchange for a $1 off coupon to Wienerschnitzel.


TOPICS: Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: humor; religion
Satire...maybe.
1 posted on 09/28/2016 2:59:44 PM PDT by fungoking
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To: fungoking

I have no clue who this man is, other that what I just read about him on Wikipedia. I take it he was outed as a scam artist?


2 posted on 09/28/2016 3:11:49 PM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: fungoking

Apostasy is big business:

People will always pay to have you say what they want to hear.


3 posted on 09/28/2016 3:16:29 PM PDT by YogicCowboy ("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - JRRT)
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To: fungoking

I suspected before I looked, and I was correct:

Rob Bell, apostate, received his so-called Master of Divinity (ha ha ha...) from that quintessential Factory of Heresy, Fuller Theological Seminary.

Every “Christian” I have known who embraces the prevalent heresies eulogizes Fuller.

Fuller should call itself The Fuller Brush School: We brush aside all truth in the rush to itch your ears.


4 posted on 09/28/2016 3:22:17 PM PDT by YogicCowboy ("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - JRRT)
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To: fungoking

Another Fuller Ideological Seminary idiot.


5 posted on 09/28/2016 3:23:42 PM PDT by YogicCowboy ("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - JRRT)
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To: fungoking

Apostates Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.


6 posted on 09/28/2016 3:26:18 PM PDT by YogicCowboy ("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - JRRT)
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To: fungoking

Man, they’d hate to see my Ryrie Study Bible, that thing is a mess, nearly every page has highlighting, notes, coffee spills (and the occasional tear stain), some taped back together.... Terrible how I’ve disrespected that poor thing marking it up on 10 or 12 readings through it....


7 posted on 09/28/2016 3:32:11 PM PDT by RedStateRocker (Nuke Mecca, deport all illegal aliens, abolish the IRS, DEA and ATF.)
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To: fungoking

I love the Babylon bee their thing about the waterslide, for Elevation Church was just too hilarious.


8 posted on 09/28/2016 6:57:44 PM PDT by StoneWall Brigade ( America's Party! Tom Hoefling/Steve Schulin 2016)
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