DNC Convention Schedule (Humor)

Self | today | sgthooper

[SgtHooper]

Following is a schedule for the Democratic National Convention:

Saturday, 27 August 2016

11:15 AM Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention. Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

2:30 PM Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants.

4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony (Sponsored by CNN)

4:30 PM "How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Dead Broke" by Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM “How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!”

A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

5:30 PM Invitation-only $10,000 donation Autograph Session; Souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia

6:00 PM Floor vote on praising Baltimore rioters and using the terminology "Alternative Shoppers" instead of "Looters"

8:30 PM The White House "Semantics Committee" Meeting; General vote on re-branding "Muslim Terrorism" as "Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance"

9:00 PM “Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you”; Guest Speaker, Brian Williams

9:15 PM Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO; By Michael Moore

11:00 PM Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in a Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It's No Big Deal"; By Hillary Clinton

[SgtHooper]

It could actually happen with this Rat crowd.

[Idaho_Cowboy]

Aww man. I was hoping Hillary was giving a lecture on how to invest in cattle futures. If that lottery doesn't come in I don't know how I'm going to retire.

[outofsalt]

They aren’t booing God this time around?

[C210N]

Interesting schedule, thanks for sharing! Good to know the details of what they are actually doing and gonna do.

Somebody with a comedic flair could take this schedule, and using this schedule as a guideline, make up a fictional version, for amusement purposes.

oh wait...

[Aut Pax Aut Bellum]

It is in Philadelphia, I believe. So, you need to pencil in a few muggings, killings and rapes...