Posted on 12/01/2015 7:39:44 PM PST by InvisibleChurch
Sullivan Ballou Letter
July 14, 1861 Maj. Sullivan Ballou
The following is a letter written by Maj. Sullivan Ballou to his wife Sarah (née Shumway) at home in Rhode Island. Ballou died a week later, at the First Battle of Bull Run. He was 32.
BallouPortraitCamp Clark, Washington
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
--Sullivan
I have the sound track, listen to it often.
I started watching it for the first time a couple weeks ago. It is some of Burns’ best work. Very touching and sad.
My wife loved The Civil War. She’s watched it a couple of times and insanely well read on the subject. She’ll be happy you posted this.
Lovely, beautifully done series....
Most of the photos he used are from the archives at the Army War College in Carlisle, PA.
We got a thrill when stationed there to see the actual retreat order written by Lee after Gettysburg...not open to the general public....
Enjoy!
Burns “Civil War” is on Youtube.
Not a fan.
Enjoyed it when it was first-run; PBS had a day-long marathon I VHS-taped few years later. Was quite tired and full of beer when the marathon finally concluded. ;)
Neither am I. Burns had several false narratives and bias within his series that made the entire program difficult for me to watch. Burns could have done better research.
Ashokan Farewell, both by the same performers; one in costume, one not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QGKlZLgz3w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxEe-zpZMx8
Every time I hear this passage on the soundtrack it irks me more and more. I'm sure the war of had millions of causes but the cause of which I have no doubts or reservations was that it was the awful wrath of God on American Civilization, North and South, the governments and the peoples.
In a nutshell, Ken Burns “docs”: haranguing on long-suffering blacks, the poor blacks; and dull, boring music & narration. Depressing no matter what. No energy.
Most overrated “director” ever.
I enjoyed the original broadcasts because they introduced two characters to the public. The modern author, Shelby Foote and the 19th century Mary Chestnut. I had read some of Foote’s abridgments, such as Stars in their Courses but hadn’t tackled the whole trilogy until the week after the broadcast ended the first go around.
What a sensible man. Chestnut is another careful writer. Her diary is not what it first appears to be - great accomplishment.
I just finished watching the series and then watched the extended version of Gettysburg. I visited Gettysburg and Antium this fall. It was very moving.
OMG, that is classic! Gets it to a T.
Has anyone watched “The Roosevelts”? It’s interesting, but pretty much lionizes FDR for his progressivism. He is certainly a man to be admired for his triumph over hie physical disability, but I don’t admire him for his socialistic policies which bring us down even to this day.
Once long ago a bunch of horse-racing fans on the forum I frequented for same waxed orgasmic over the idea of Burns doing a racing doc. Again I got into my distaste for his approach and thus, had zero desire to see a racing history doc via Burns. No thanks. Never mind how boring he made “Baseball”, he would have a field day with the history of blacks in racing.
LOL!!!!!
I recently noticed that this was on Netflix.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.