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Dairy Queen Robbed By Mysterious, Sword-Wielding Assailant
Kitchenette ^ | 11/19/15 9:49am | C.A. Pinkham

Posted on 11/21/2015 1:58:04 AM PST by Cowman

Y’know. Just robbing a Dairy Queen with a sword. As one does.

A robbery at a Port Huron, Michigan Dairy Queen has police searching for a robber armed with f----g Longclaw. Police say the man ordered a Blizzard, then as soon as the counterperson opened the cash register, he pulled out a “sword or machete,” grabbed the cash, and ran. OK, important question here: how exactly does one hide a sword? A sword tends to occupy a sizable area, not to mention immediately drawing one’s attention to its presence, because it’s a f----g sword. Was the nameless suburban ronin actually a master of hammerspace?

Police are still looking for the alleged Blizzburglar, described as a 6-foot-tall white guy in his mid-20’s wearing a black and blue parka, a black hoodie, and a gray scarf with skulls on it. If you see him and you happen to be a Highlander, do not approach: he has likely consumed more souls than you have in preparation for the Quickening.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: filthyknave; robbery; samuraidairyqueen; sword
Language alert at link

Paging Mr. Belushi..

1 posted on 11/21/2015 1:58:05 AM PST by Cowman
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To: Cowman

Felons can’t have concealed carry permits in Michigan. Were all the employees felons?


2 posted on 11/21/2015 2:06:05 AM PST by x_plus_one (The hammer of heretics, the light of Spain, the savior of his country, the honor of his order..)
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To: Cowman

The source is a blog not a news source and he uses the word, f**king’ spelled out in the report. I wouldn’t be so sure if this is true amd might just ne another lefty trying to get attention.


3 posted on 11/21/2015 2:21:27 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: jsanders2001

The articles that poke fun at God and religious people are also suspect. I think the guy is just another mental case liberal who thinks he’s being clever writing satire that pokes fun at things he doesn’t like and that he’s making it all up.


4 posted on 11/21/2015 2:30:04 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: Cowman

Those damned swords are just out of control.


5 posted on 11/21/2015 2:33:17 AM PST by immadashell (The inmates are running the asylum.)
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To: Cowman

Zorro strikes again! ¡Ay, caramba!

CC


6 posted on 11/21/2015 2:38:38 AM PST by Celtic Conservative (CC: purveyor of cryptic, snarky posts since December, 2000..)
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To: Cowman; al baby; Albion Wilde; Allegra; BufordP; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; JRios1968; ...

It’s Samurai Armed Robber!

DANG!


7 posted on 11/21/2015 2:42:14 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Democrats and GOP-e: a difference of degree, not philosophy)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

You beat me to it, Tolerance! I was going to make a Samurai comment but then I saw your post. Last week I watched the old Belushi “Samurai Night Fever” skit from SNL.


8 posted on 11/21/2015 2:53:11 AM PST by MDLION (J"Trust in the Lord with all your heart" -Proverbs 3:5)
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To: MDLION; All

Looks like it was a real event:

Police responded to the Dairy Queen in the 1200 block of Military Street shortly before 6:40 p.m. Tuesday after it was reported a man with a machete threatened the employee inside and took cash.

Carter Smith, 19, said Wednesday the man entered the store and ordered a Blizzard.

As he rung up the order, Smith thought the man was going for his wallet, but he instead took out a machete.

http://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2015/11/20/dairy-queen-robbery-port-huron/76095678/


9 posted on 11/21/2015 3:04:12 AM PST by marktwain
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To: marktwain

I believe it. It’s a crazy world. And a machete can be considerably shorter than a sword and he’s about 6 foot.


10 posted on 11/21/2015 3:13:05 AM PST by MDLION (J"Trust in the Lord with all your heart" -Proverbs 3:5)
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To: Cowman

The clerk should have whipped out a f*****g gun and ended that bit of insanity toot sweet


11 posted on 11/21/2015 3:18:50 AM PST by Vaquero ( Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. .)
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To: Vaquero

Insert vid clip of Indiana Jones dealing with the sword-twirling Arab here.


12 posted on 11/21/2015 3:38:23 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: x_plus_one

Looks like they could us an indiana jones moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzcOCyHDqc
quick get bloomberg on the line here is another weapon to ban


13 posted on 11/21/2015 3:45:50 AM PST by ronnie raygun
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To: Cowman

When guns are outlawed...

http://nypost.com/2015/11/20/sword-wielding-psycho-freaks-out-at-apple-store/

(If I had a choice, knife or gun, I’d rather be shot - I’ve worked in ERs)


14 posted on 11/21/2015 4:39:42 AM PST by normbal (normbal. somewhere in socialist occupied America)
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To: Cowman

Damn, the Supreme Court finally legalizes gay marriage and he’s still running around bare-chested, with a sword.

What do these people want?


15 posted on 11/21/2015 5:10:29 AM PST by BobL (Who cares? He's going to build a wall and stop this invasion.)
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To: FreedomPoster

That is a great one!

Of course, in all honesty, alot of that is the fact the Moslem wasted alot of time putting on a show rather than just getting to it.


16 posted on 11/21/2015 5:14:45 AM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue./Federal-run medical care is as good as state-run DMVs.)
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To: Cowman

There can be only one!


17 posted on 11/21/2015 6:59:30 AM PST by GenXteacher (You have chosen dishonor to avoid war; you shall have war also.)
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To: Celtic Conservative

ROFL ROFL


18 posted on 11/21/2015 7:39:01 AM PST by Patriot Babe
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To: Cowman

Just waiting for somebody to post the picture of Mr. Sulu from Star Trek with a sword. Seems to happen every time a story about a sword appears here.


19 posted on 11/21/2015 11:58:23 AM PST by Dilbert San Diego
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