Posted on 10/08/2015 6:09:02 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
1. Customer service is either so warm it’s like you’ve made a new friend for life or so brusque you feel as though you’ve just been ordered back into your cell after your five-minute phone call with your lawyer. There’s no middle ground.
2. You need to tip for everything. If you think maybe you should tip, you should tip. You should be tipping me for this article.
3. If you don’t tip in a restaurant, the waiter or waitress will make a smart remark and your evening will be ruined. I’ve seen it happen.
4. People tip because the waiting staff are paid low hourly rates.
5. The waiting staff are paid low hourly rates because employers have successfully tricked their customers into taking on a significant portion of their staffing costs. If you don’t like the sound of that, all is not quite lost – there is a socialist running for president this time.
6. You can have anything you want, as long as you can pay for it.
7. And as long as you tip.
8. You can fill up your car at a petrol station using a couple of nickels and an old button.
9. Something as tiny and insignificant as a bicycle could never be considered remotely comparable to a car, and to expect it to abide by the same rules of the road is considered utterly absurd by cyclists, pedestrians and drivers alike.
10. Coins have become so worthless that restaurants sometimes refuse to take them - even thieves have been known to turn their noses up at some of them.
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
Re #3: A smart remark would ruin your evening? What, if someone spoke harshly to you, you would fall to the floor and expire?
Pussy.
(Oops, did he died?)
Number 10 seems to contradict Number 8.
In regards to Number 5, ANYTIME a democrat is running for president a socialist is running for president.
LOL
Go kiss your Queen’s behind.
“moved from the UK to the US six months ago”
Been here way too long, time to go back. New York, the
capital of the northeastern communist block USA, is not a
good example of America. I’d say it’s more UK than US.
That's true.
A man left 4 bags of wheat pennies sitting on the bed cover of his pickup truck for about 9 hours.
A store security camera shows three people checking them out.
One guy (homeless type) even opened the bags, saw they were wheaties, put them back in the bag and walked away, leaving them where they were.
Either real honest or just didn't want to fool with a bunch of pennies.
(Each bag held about 18.00 bucks worth of pennies...but as wheaties they were worth much more.)
(I know of what I speak...the guy that left them on the pickup truck was me.)
This person lives an elite life. First requirement of that life? Have contempt for America.
I lived in the UK for a decade and could rip him another one on THEIR customs and culture of things I found incredibly stupid amd inane.
“You need to tip for everything”
Especially when a democrat occupies the White House.
He visited NY....when the majority of Brits visit Disney in Orlando and call it ‘America’.
Over here for six months trying to evade taxes, more like.
Was that a mistake or an experiment?
Next time you piss off the Germans, don’t call US!
I thought this one was funny -
20. Celebrities walk around major cities as bold as brass. The other day I sat next to Dominic West, Damian Lewis and John Slattery in a restaurant.
In America, we only consider really famous people celebrities. I don't even know who he's talking about.
“People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbours or the government” and “There are no guns”
Are there any “sons of Obama” in rural England? Well, Mohammad and Ahmed are moving in, thanks to your government, so maybe you should start having a healthy dose of fear. We didn’t use to be afraid of our government. They used to be afraid of us.
I’m from Tulsa. Once in OKC I was at a fast food type pizza place (Mazzios for those who from around those parts) and everyone there was eating their pizza with a fork. I was deeply offended. I learned that day that people from OKC were not Oklahomans.
“8. You can fill up your car at a petrol station using a couple of nickels and an old button.”
What?
“14. Apartments usually come unfurnished, and Americans think the idea of sitting on someone else’s sofa or sleeping in someone else’s bed is disgusting.”
Because it is disgusting.
“15. Far more Americans than the often-quoted 14% have a passport. But even if the number is low, relative to other countries, the fact is that they can quite happily cover 3.8m sq miles of vastly varied terrain without one. That’s more than double the 1.7m sq miles of the EU , which many British holidaymakers will be visiting.”
A point I’ve been making for a long time. The US is big and has a lot of diverse people and places. It took me 14 hours to drive from East Kansas to NE New Mexico. I could have driven from Paris to Sarajevo in the same amount of time.
“16. It’s best to think of the police as a sort of occupying army and avoid them accordingly – particularly if you are not white.”
Idiot.
“20. Celebrities walk around major cities as bold as brass. The other day I sat next to Dominic West, Damian Lewis and John Slattery in a restaurant.”
No clue.
The guy sounds like a fag.
Numbers 38 - 42 are the best ones!
Pretty funny, except for the gratuitous swipes at our Constitution and leading presidential candidate.
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