Posted on 04/25/2015 12:45:57 PM PDT by walford
The talent of the musical act is in inverse proportion to the volume at which its fans typically prefer to play their "product" on their car stereos.
The more expensive the car stereo and rims, the worse the upkeep and mechanical condition of the vehicle. [Learned this the hard way after buying a car with "rimz" on it. Never do that. Only buy a car that is full stock.]
On a heterosexual male, the more intricate the styling of the head and/or facial hair -- and the more evidence that he regularly spends a lot of time on same -- the more likely he is a flaming arsehole.
The cheaper the cologne, the more they slap on themselves.
The uglier the baby, the more they want you to see it.
The worse the breath and/or body odor, the closer they want to be to you.
The more violent and dangerous the dog, the less likely the owner will keep it leashed -- and the more likely he will blame you if you're attacked.
The bigger the gold chain, the less gold is actually in it.
A computer is least responsive when you deliberately push a button with the intent of it doing something. A computer is most responsive when you accidentally push a button, and the result is some catastrophic destruction of data that cannot be recovered.
Murphy was an optimist.
The closer to last call...
Affordable health care isn’t.
The more expensive the car stereo and rims, the worse the upkeep and mechanical condition of the vehicle. [Learned this the hard way after buying a car with “rimz” on it. Never do that. Only buy a car that is full stock.]
My observation?
Check the presets on the car radio.
The more ghetto or metal the selections, the less the owner could hear noises warning of mechanical problems.
Talk radio, classical, easy listening owners paid more attention to the condition of their cars, and maintained them better.
Stock market - If they’re talking about a particular stock, you’re already too late.
the more Obama talks, the bigger his lies.
Many moons ago when I had more hair of color, I taught at a college whose campus was in a slight (land) depression, which created an acoustic "bowl" effect. Numerous students would drive in with their autos, windows down, blaring the latest unmusical [expletive deleted], which was amplified by the surrounding grounds. On more impish days, I would put a Bach, Buxtehude, or Walther CD on, roll down the windows, crank up the volume, and experience delightful organ toccatas and fugues while entering the campus--and because I was faculty, I had to drive all the way around the campus to get to our parking, which meant all the students also got to experience delightful organ toccatas and fugues.
That stuff men frequently pick up at the grocery store is not cologne.
Creed, on the other hand, is...
In the musical talent department, the fewer clothes the “artist” has on, the smaller the talent for singing.
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