Posted on 04/05/2015 8:20:51 AM PDT by PROCON
After Saturday night’s unprecedented success with Earth Hour, the White House announced today that, by Executive Order, April has been declared “Earth Month”, the next step in reducing our dependence on fossil fuels.
For the month of April, U.S. residents and businesses are being required to turn off all electrical appliances and lights. A special waiver is being given to electric cars and homes running entirely on solar-powered electricity. Compliance will be monitored by volunteers who report infractions to a special EPA hotline.
White House press secretary Josh Earnestly stated, “The President’s science advisor has informed us that the resulting reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, especially from coal-fired power plants, will be the same as taking 92 billion cars off the road for 15 years.”
While hospitals will be inconvenienced as life-saving equipment is shut down, economist Paul Krugman has stated that there will be a significant savings in the health care sector as fewer and fewer patients will eventually be requiring such services. “The U.S. population will, on average, be healthier at the end of the month”, Krugman said.
When asked how the country can function without using electricity, Josh Earnestly replied, “If North Korea can do it, so can we.” Repeated attempts to reach North Korean leader Kim Jong Un for comment were unsuccessful.
original Earth Month April 4, 1970 ?
***After Saturday night’s unprecedented success with Earth Hour***
There was an earth hour last night? Whey wasn’t I told about this! I had other lights I could have turned on!
Bummer. I guess I will have to keep a few more on during the month to make up for it.
The best satire is the one that has the most plausibility. I can totally see the dimbulbs in the Øbozo Crime Syndicate saying this.
How many watts is a teleprompter?
This merely reflects the anti-Mars and Martian attitude of these planetists in the WH.
The teleprompter’s carbon footprint is offset by Michelle’s organic vegetable garden.
AGW satire ping.
...and since when does the WHITE HOUSE tell us to do anything???????????....
Last night when I retired for the night, after prayers, the Senate and the House and WE THE PEOPLE where the ones running this country, NOT THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we have a nation month too? Pretty please?
We used to have 12 of those every year.
I hereby Declare that May shall be Celebrated as Stop The Criminalization Month!
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