Fast Food Connoisseur: I Think I Love Wingstop More Than my Wife

SFWeekly ^ | Jay Lison

[nickcarraway]

Everyone has that go-to food spot that your significant other is sick of (if not grossed out by) but will go along just to appease you. For me, that place is Wingstop.

Maybe it's because Wingstop is nowhere near my house in Telegraph Hill, so those sauced-tossed wings always taste deliciously novel to me (someone could make a boatload if they opened one in the center of the city). Perhaps I just love that the aviation- themed decor makes me want to pretend my chicken wing is a steering rod for my imaginary fighter jet (sound effects included). More likely, it's that Wingstop food is just damn good quality — it's not pre-made, reheated fast food.

Some people will tell me that Buffalo Wings shouldn’t be consider a whole meal. Well, I say Kim Kardashian shouldn’t be considered a whole celebrity either, but she kinda is.

You get my point.

One of the most noteworthy and commendable aspects of Wingstop is the sheer breadth of choices you have, which can only be a bad thing if you go there very hungry. You can go boneless or bone-in; you can add veggie sticks or yeast rolls (think baked bao no meat); bourbon-baked beans? Hey why not. You want some potato salad to dip your wings in? Done.

Speaking of endless options, most Wingstop locations have those new space-age digital fountain soda machines with like a zillion soda flavors. I am pretty sure those are going to replace bartenders in the next 10 years. Also, with 11 wing flavors on tap, you might get a little overwhelmed when ordering. My advice: Just take a deep breath and remind yourself you can come back tomorrow.

Don’t even get me started on the dips. All I have to say is never underestimate the power of honey mustard.

With years of fast food knowledge under my belt line, I am going to let you in on a little secret when it comes to Wingstop. You might think they I go there for the wings, but I actually go there for the fries. You can quote me on this: WingStop has the best french fries in the fast food game today. With the salty-sweet flavor and potato skin casing, these fries paired with wings is a slice of fast food heaven. And if you are queso fan (liquid gold), you can have your fries drenched in cheesy goodness. I need a nap just thinking about Wingstop’s fries.

Now might be good time to address the allure of the “Wingstop secret menu Cajun Fries." Rumor has it that one night in a Louisiana Wingstop, a cook made up the crazy recipe on his/her last night on the job. The Cajun fries were a hit and the recipe rapidly spread to all other locations, quickly topping Wingstop’s secret menu.

With it's made-to-order wings, Wingstop is doing it right. But with its higher-than-normal prices, the jury is still out on the longevity of Wingstop. Will wings ever really compete with burgers and pizza? Still, you have to give credit to Wingstop for mass producing something different. Plus, its logo looks like a patch you would see on an aviator’s jacket. How cool is that!

Other important notes: Any eatery that forgoes napkins for a roll of paper towels is my kind of place.

They serve beer. Cold, delicious beer.

I probably will get flack for this, but I am still going to say it: Wingstop has styrofoam cups and it is amazing! It takes me back to childhood fast food outings with my grandpa.

I am in love with the garlic Parmesan wings and honey mustard dip. I might love that combo more than I love my wife. Nothing eliminates hunger like the taste of Parmesan. Yes, I capitalized Parmesan. Food on.

[doc1019]

Obviously you sex life sux.

[Veggie Todd]

I probably will get flack for this, but I am still going to say it: Wingstop has styrofoam cups and it is amazing!

Expect a trip to a democrat re-education camp in your near future.

[a fool in paradise]

He sounds so fixated on staring at chicken wings that having Hooters-style waitresses would be invisible to him.

[a fool in paradise]

All Chicken Playlist:

Rufus Thomas - The Funky Chicken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2ArZ67Bk5g

Rutabaga (aka Andre Williams) - Chicken Thighs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlJYN-7IUY0

Andre Williams - The Greasy Chicken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeQ7NYEfhC4

Don & Juan - Chicken Necks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd4PUuCN_fU

[Vendome]

My Dad always said the three most important things in a man’s life are:

A good woman, a good meal and a good Shiite....and not necessarily in that order...

[Fai Mao]

Jeff’s Pirate Cove

[tumblindice]

Wing wrestler? More like rump wrangler.

[Revelation 911]

Some people will tell me that Buffalo Wings shouldn’t be consider a whole meal. Well, I say Kim Kardashian shouldn’t be considered a whole celebrity either, but she kinda is.

I'm more inclined to put wings in my mouth instead of Kim...

[Hatteras]

"Hooters-style waitresses" may be pretty sharp to look at but they also come with many ugly strings attached. You'll just have to trust me on this. One doesn't need an MBA to wait tables at Hooters. They are waitresses who just spend a little more time in front of the mirror and are a little less dressed than the other single moms waiting tables down the street at the Dixie Diner and the Waffle House.

Just bring me my wings and another beer...

[T-Bone Texan]

Just because he is married don’t assume he isn’t ghey.