Posted on 03/14/2015 11:49:29 AM PDT by Usagi_yo
Perhaps I'll post MY rendering of this scene.
(Enter CAESAR, CALPURNIA, a SOOTHSAYER, and CASCA. CAESAR is in a tacky waistcoat and Groucho glasses. He has a moustache that seems painted on. He slouches.)
CASCA. Hail, Caesar! It is the Feast of Lupercal and Caesar has returned from his triumph over Pompey.
CAESAR. Calpurnia!
CASCA. Peace, ho! Caesar speaks!
(Music is heard.)
CAESAR. Calpurnia!
CALPURNIA. Here, my lord!
SOOTHSAYER. Sooth! Sooth! Sooth! Sooth!
CAESAR. Forsooth. Is that the soothsayer?
SOOTHSAYER. Sooth! Sooth! Sooth! Sooth!
CAESAR. Yes, that’s four sooth all right. I’ll see your four and I’ll raise you a sooth.
CASCA. I have four sooth in my closet. I have a gray one, a blue one, a black one, and a brown one.
SOOTHSAYER. Sooth! Sooth! Sooth! Sooth!
CASCA. Is that the sooth fairy?
SOOTHSAYER. Caesar!
CAESAR. Yes, that’s me. What do you want?
SOOTHSAYER. Beware the Ides of March.
CALPURNIA. Beware of Tide with starch?
SOOTHSAYER. No, the Ides of March.
CASCA. Your hides are parched?
SOOTHSAYER. No, no. The Ides of March. See? It’s right here in the calendar. (Pulls out a calendar.) 12th…13th…14th…Ides.
CAESAR. As if I don’t have enough to worry about. I’m trying to run this Empire, and it’s about the crummiest empire I’ve ever seen.
SOOTHSAYER. Believe me, beware the Ides of March.
CAESAR. OK, I’ll write it on my Palm. (He begins to write on the palm of his hand.)
CASCA. Don’t you have a Blackberry?
CAESAR. No, but Calpurnia has some lovely grapes in her garden. (He goes back to writing.) Note to myself. Don’t go out on the 15th.
He was a benevolent dictator, master logistician decent soldier, but we do not come to praise Ceasar. We came to bury him.
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