#1 for the rest of us - Mitt with sign
I'm running AGAIN!!!
Posted on 10/30/2014 9:47:14 AM PDT by Colofornian
It’s Halloween week (though perhaps you already celebrated with a ToT), so Steve and I figured that it would only be appropriate to have a super-spooky ranking! This is some scary stuff! As always, these rankings are authoritative.
10. Cain/Bigfoot
9. BYU Honor Code Office Representative
8. Post-Manifesto Polygamist
7. Intellectual Feminist
6. Single Man Over 27
5. The Bible Dictionary
4. Non-intellectual Feminist
3. Steve Evans
2. Idolatrous God of Elkenah
1. Missionary who served, came home, and then got called back 4 years later like in that nightmare I have every 6 weeks
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To understand #10, ya gotta read:
* The Truth About Mormon Myths [Mormon Bigfoot, White Horse Prophesy, & Nephites alive 2,000+ years] (See 'Bigfoot is Cain' sub-title)
* Is Bigfoot traveling through Provo Canyon?
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Re: #2..Ya gotta understand the source for this. It comes from Mormon-deemed "scriptures" the Pearl of Great Price...the Book of Abraham.
You see, not only The primary focus of the Mormon church is on serving the dead! (See Lds "scriptures" Doctrine & Covenants 128:15; 138:27), but most of one of its "four standard works" -- its "scriptures" (Pearl of Great Price)
-- is in reality supposedly "translated" from "papyri are ordinary Egyptian funeral texts, with possibly a few interesting side notes. For example, one of the Smith papyri is the 'Document of Breathing Made by Isis' and is the oldest known datable copy (pre-150 BCE).
(The ISIS god of Egypt weaved its way into modern-day Mormonism!)
Excerpt in context:
Chicago—In 1835 a traveling curiosity peddler of Egyptian mummies arrived in the small town of Kirtland, Ohio. He caught the attention of Joseph Smith (1805-44), the controversial founder of the Mormon religion. Smith secured a large sum of money from his followers ($2,400, or $60,000 in today’s dollars) to purchase four Egyptian mummies with scrolls of papyri. Smith announced that he could do what no one else could do: translate the ancient hieroglyphics. Smith asserted that the papyri contained the writings of the biblical prophets Abraham and Joseph. He titled his translation of the papyri the “Book of Abraham.” Smith’s translation contained several images from the papyri and in 1851 was published as part of the Mormon scripture called “The Pearl of Great Price.” Now, for the first time, the surviving papyri have been translated into English in their entirety. In analyzing and translating the ancient texts, Robert K. Ritner, foremost American scholar of Egyptology, has determined that they were prepared for deceased men and women in Thebes during the Greco-Roman period. They have nothing to do with Abraham, Joseph, or a planet called Kolob, as Smith had claimed. “Except for those willfully blind,” writes Professor Ritner of the University of Chicago’s Oriental Institute, “the case is closed.” In his new book, The Joseph Smith Egyptian Papyri: A Complete Edition, he also accuses two scholars of Egyptology at Mormon-owned Brigham Young University of borrowing and distorting his own writings in trying to defend Smith’s interpretations as authentically translated Egyptian. Smith’s translation narrative tells of a young Abraham who is about to become a human sacrifice at the request of his father. It also tells of a human pre-mortal existence and teaches that the Egyptian pharaohs were cursed by God (leading to the Mormon priesthood restrictions on African Americans). It also established the Mormon theology for multiple gods. The Mormon Church restricts access to the original papyri, which it owns. Ritner gained access to high resolution scans through a third party. He concluded that the papyri are ordinary Egyptian funeral texts, with possibly a few interesting side notes. For example, one of the Smith papyri is the “Document of Breathing Made by Isis” and is the oldest known datable copy (pre-150 BCE). Otherwise, Ritner states, anyone investigating claims of ancient evidence for Smith’s translation should not “waste his time,” although he does admit “that the study of the Mormon period of Egyptomania is interesting by itself.”
Source: Scholar Says Mormon Scripture Not an Egyptian Translation
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As for #1, See: Ten Lies I Told as a Mormon Missionary
And, to keep the missionary-Halloween connection intact, see: The Haunting of a Mormon Missionary in Ecuador [The OTHER World Series]
And, see also what happened to 19th-century Lds missionaries:
* Multinight poltergeist activity and a "terrible fury" in the 1840s to Lorenzo Snow, an eventual Mormon "prophet"...read last three paragraphs at: Seven Sub-Topical Samples Proving Mormonism's Occultic Origins [The OTHER WORLD Series]
* In 1837, a man who was to later rank as the top Lds "apostle" (Orson Hyde) was demon-possessed: Discovering Lds Britain: Discovering Lds Preston - Satanic Attack
* For more on Preston, England & the Lds missionaries -- also involving the man who was to become Brigham Young's right-hand man as one of the top three-ranking Lds leaders (Heber C. Kimball), see post #1 here: 40: Mormons, Demons, and Exorcisms [The OTHER World Series]
Okay dude.....here’s your thread. Have at it.
But if you come to my door this year I’m ready!!
* Zombies: The Specter of Materialism [The Mormon OTHER WORLD Series]
* Seven Sub-Topical Samples Proving Mormonism's Occultic Origins [The OTHER WORLD Series]
* Demonic and Ungodly Names in the Book of Mormon 1 [The OTHER WORLD series]
* Demonic and Ungodly Names in the Book of Mormon 2 [The OTHER WORLD series]
* Demonic and Ungodly Names in the Book of Mormon 3 [The OTHER WORLD series]
* Lecture by Dr. Adam Miller, Professor of Philosophy: 'Zombies, Vampires, and the Book of Mormon'
* Mormon Vampires in the Garden of Eden [The OTHER WORLD series]
Just damn.. my magic underpants are all at the cleaners.
Dude! Halloween is TOMORROW!
I was dated a young lady who had been thrown out of BYU for wearing her skirts to short.
I dated a young Mormon lady who introduced me to the pleasures of the flesh with alarming regularity.
No imagine having four of them
It would take some careful scheduling.
That’s like back years ago when Steve Young was giving an interview and described himself as “The Eighth Wonder of the World....a 37-year old single Mormon.”
I laughed my head off! But only because my dad had spent a good bit of time in Utah on business, so I knew what he was saying.
Who I just looked up on FB. R.I.P. F.E.
Daddy, I’m fragrant what am I going to do?
Daddy: You’ll marry him of course.....
But daddy, he smokes
(Utah Dictionary: fragrant, fragnent, preg***t, spoken in a very low and quiet voice so as to not offend)
Our FR Mormons were sure mouthy 3 1/2 years ago!
Where are they NOW??
Try a pair of my UnderOooohs!
You just had to didn’t you?
Maybe just being respectful of other people’s religious beliefs?
If you want to know if a Mormon may be running for office, just check out FR.
(If those mishies Elsie was referencing were so "respectful of other people's religious beliefs," then why were they openly proselytizing so many to change them [to Mormonism]?)
And...btw...Mormons reference their missionary activity as indeed proselytizing...vs. evangelizing...
IoW...their goal isn't simply to expose people to the Biblical Gospel...proclaim it...(the Good News)
Their goal is to convert people to a church...to a system...to a "prophet" and then a series of "living prophets"...
If they were to "respect" Christians who have their Biblical beliefs, sure, they could enter into dialogue...but that's not what Lds missionary training is all about.
Pure proselytizing.
re: Cain/Bigfoot - gotta love the mormon urban legends. Say, have you heard the one about the (temple statue, elevators in the temple, number of spots for paintings on the wall, etc.)?
Re: Missionary who served, came home, and then got called back 4 years later like in that nightmare I have every 6 weeks - oh, wow, you have that same nightmare? LOL
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