Posted on 10/10/2014 6:01:33 PM PDT by NKP_Vet
You might be an EXTREME redneck if...
1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9 Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work.
After a while the 1st good ol' boy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd good ol' boy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
NOW Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY YA HEAH!
LOL! Good one.
If your brother-in-law is also your uncle...
Hey, I live in E. Tenn.
I’ve got 8 Generations from West, by Gawd, Virginia
These hear parts resemble those remarks
Don't Muzzies do the same thing?
North Carolina redneck here and proud of it!
LOL’s!!!
You could add: A Chihuahua is a redneck car alarm or a good burglar alarm.
I helped a friend move to another state after he had purchased a business there. He was by no means poor, the family owned several auto dealerships. Part of the property he bought included a double wide and he thought that living there while they shopped for a permanent home was a good idea. His spoiled trophy (now ex) wife thought different. I was carrying a box of toiletries into their abode and asked where to put them. She told me to put them in the master bath. I asked if that was the one closest to the hitch or the taillights. I will never forget the look I got!
Gotta speak redneck too.
Widjadija: So dija bring yer dawg widjadija?
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
The last words are, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS!!"
If you have ever used pieces of drywall to fills holes in your driveway.
Redneck took his daughter to the Doctor, and told him she needs to be fitted for a diaphram. The Doctor looks at her chart and says, “She is 13 years old! is she sexually active?” The dad says, “No, she just lays there like her mother does.”
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
If everyone in your family and all your relatives have worked at walmart at one time or another.
Me and Bubba take great offense at you mocking us.
...your home and your car are both up on blocks.
Ping
I passed!!! Yes!!!
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