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I truly feel for the people with legitimate allergies. Right now the pollen count is so high my throat keeps closing up.

What I can't stand are the people with imagined Boy In the Bubble Syndrome. These are the people who suddenly become allergic to something they see or assume are present.

You have a dog? I'm allergic. You have roses? I'm allergic. Your daughter has hamsters? I'm allergic. You just bought a new leather sofa? I'm allergic.

You get the picture.

So.

Several years ago I had a few friends over for a casual evening. One couple, whose wife had never visited, arrived. Being the polite bastard that I am, I decided to give them the grand tour of my 3500 sq ft shack, on behalf of my buddies wife.

First the kitchen. I'm an accomplished cook so I am naturally proud of my kitchen. Next, the Great room. Not a living room mind you, it's freaking big! Next my office, and then on to the dining room.

What I'm about to describe may seem cruel, because I was well aware of my buddy's wife's predilection and histrionics.

There in the dining room accenting the furniture was a huge Persian style area rug!

"Is...is that w..w..wool?" she asked.

"Yes it is!" I proudly replied. "The finest Persian wool that I could afford. In fact it's lambs wool hand crafted in Yemen!"

Now I swear this is true. Her eyes began to water up. Her nose began to run. Her throat began to make a strange chirping sound, not unlike that of a cricket.

I rushed her into the kitchen and gave her a glass of water. I asked if she was feeling any better. She replied. "Yes. Thank you."

"So? You wanna meet my cats??!!?"

Needless to say, pandemonium ensued and my buddy was banned from attending my twice monthly poker game. She thought I was trying to kill her and was slightly suspicious that her husband was in on it.

NOTE: The area rug was a polyester knockoff I got at a Macy's tent sale.