In other words, she has been suppressing the guilt ever since. The very fact that she tries to imagine what the kid would be like is an indication of that. Most people after having genuine medical procedures, do not keep obsessing with them afterwards. Another indication of suppressed feelings of guilt is the rabid support and promotion of abortion. It's like they are trying to convince themselves that they did not do evil by having an abortion, because so many other women have had abortions--somehow, larger numbers of co-murderers makes the murder less bad.
No woman who has successfully prevented pregnancy by using contraceptives ever goes around saying that if only she hadn't used the pill 25 years ago, she'd have a kid in college now...
Maybe not, but I often have both men and women tell me that they wish they had had more children when they were able to, instead of making the easier choices at the time.