Posted on 11/05/2013 7:37:55 AM PST by virgil283
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going Through menopause? A: Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible... Is that true? Where is it? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ..."
Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year-old mate? A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses. (snip)
(Excerpt) Read more at maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com ...
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 60-plus people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these."
Those are cute. I shared them with my co-workers.
This topic is really getting old.
More like hitting too close to home...(written as one turning 59 next February)
Excellent, thank you ! I needed a laugh this morning.
Winning “Power ball”
Well said.
40 years ago a learned man taught me “the older you get, the more good looking women there are in the world”
LOL! I'll be 60 next year, but I have an 11YO son and a 3 YO grandson that keep me young, by necessity.
Unfortunately, my 24 YO son is doing a good job of sending me to my grave prematurely. ;)
On a more serious note that saying reminds me of another one...today being the anniversary of my Dad's passing..."the older I get the smarter my old man gets".
THAT one really hit home!
3 older gentlemen are sitting around the nursing home playing cards.
The 70 year-old says “Man o man. 70 is the worst age to be. all night long I feel like I have to pee but when I go to the toilet I can’t squeeze a drop out!”
The 80 year-old says “You should talk. That’s nothing. All day I feel like I have to take a dump but when I sit down to go I can’t push anything out.”
The 90 year-old start laughing. “You guys don’t know what you’re talking about. 90 is the toughest age to be.”
The 70 year-old says “Why? What’ so funny? Do you have trouble peeing?”
The 90 year-old says, “Nope. Every morning at 7 on the dot I pee like a racehorse. No trouble at all.”
So the 80 year-old says, “Well what about number 2? Do you have trouble going?”
The 90 year-old says, “Nope. No problem there either. Every morning at 7:30 I take a nice big dump.”
The 70 and 80 year-old look at him and say, “So what’s the big trouble with being 90 then?”
The 90 year-old says, “Well I don’t wake up until 8 o’ clock!”
not true for me.
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