Posted on 09/07/2013 1:13:55 AM PDT by MacMattico
Was the phrase “your daughter sucks” or “your daughter’s skills suck” really used or are we paraphrasing?
It’s your niece not your child.
If your sister has an issue, take it up with the coach. Seems to me your niece might have a little streak of the “mean girl” in her. As the dad of two female athletes, I can attest that girls are worse than boys when it comes to hazing, cruelty, and crappy attitudes.
As a captain, she might be taking her role a little too dramatically.
Finally, as someone who has worked professionally with coaches I can assure you that they don’t get really worked up that much. My guess is if you did not “read emotion” into that email, it is likely he is making valid points.
My advice is not to get involved. At all. It’s high school sports for God’s sake.
If other parents have a problem...need to get together and force the coach out. Also, look at private school options, or, just moving to another school. Some districts have Magnet schools...which makes it easier for student athletes to transfer within districts w/out being penalized
A bad coach should never hurt the student athlete.
This coach is a real problem because he is dishonest
The coach is a sociopath. I’ve had several supervisors like this.
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Is this the “socialization” that parents of institutionally schooled parents are claiming is so wonderful for their children?
Is this the “socialization” that homeschoolers are missing? ( Just wondering.)
And you know this from one side of the story? I got a feeling the coach wears a white hat. Letting others play when winning. While parents help, he does the bulk of the work in time and effort taking the students across the state to play. The pay sucks and I am sure he puts in long hours without compensation. Sounds like they have successful team also. I would bet that the vast majority of the students respect and care for the coach who held the job for several years. I will also bet that the most difficult part of the job is dealing with the parents.
Given the player’s history, this doesn’t add up...
It sounds to me like your niece is a capable player and can lead and/or mentor (if she’s Team Capt). The coach’s email is boggling, if your niece’s playing history is true.
If I was her Uncle and could get to one of her games, I’d find an opportunity to have a quiet, respectful moment of the coach’s time and find out what the issue is. If it truly is your niece that the coach was talking about (however doubtful), then has your sister been misrepresenting your niece’s abilities? If the problem is between your sister & the coach and your niece got caught in the middle, I’d go have a talk with my sister. Is it possible that she needs to take it down a few notches?
Until you clear up the disconnect between your niece’s playing history and the coach’s email, how will you ever know for sure?
The coach is sending a negative email in retaliation for the girl refusing his sexual advances. It is as clear as glass. And that is his threat to her, to sabotage her future if she does not relent.
Was the coach’s e-mail hacked?
I have as well. The difference between the sociopath boss and the government school is that I was free to look for work elsewhere and I did.
Government schooling, though, is in someways like a prison. Unless the parents can ransom the child by way of home or private schooling, the child is under police and court threat to be in the government’s institution ( prison) and under the direction of government school employees ( guards). It is the government employees ( warden and guards) who determine with whom the child will associate ( be imprisoned).
Also...Government schools have a price-fixed monopoly cartel on many sports. They are the **only** avenue to advancement in many sports. In many counties in this nation there are **no** private schools because the private schools can not compete against a government education-industrial complex that is giving a service away for tuition-free.
With this mix of socialist-entitlement and cartel price-fixing, there is far more opportunity for abuse ( and incompetent training) of the child in government sports.
Certainly a possibility.
There are also county or community sports leagues. Maybe the girl can join one of those teams. I didn’t see a mention of the sport she played, so I don’t know.
This is not an email-to-my-sister’s-daughter-so-I’ll-get-the-advice-of-a-bunch-of-online-strangers kind of problem. This is a people problem that needs to be handled by the people with the problem in a mature way.
Many of the comments on this thread are an indication of the pure dumbing-down of logical thinking.
I disagree. As a executive and performance coach for 22 years, i find little value in team mindsets, and individual success. Entertainment does not hold much meaningful value.
I come from a Marine family so don't tell me I'm all “wussified”. My brothers Football team was league champs and they played hard. This has nothing to do with anything you're talking about.
Make sure the AD sees it. Paper trail, and bring a video camera to practices.
If she’s a scholarship level athlete, get an independent coach or experts opinion on her ability.
Hire a lawyer, and find out what kind of evidence would be required to pursue a civil suit should she NOT be able to finance her college education with her talent.
Follow the lawyer’s advice in terms of who to notify. There will have to have been some due diligence on your part in terms of who you should have reasonably been expected to alert to the situation, but follow the lawyer’s advice so you don’t do too much or too little.
You may also want to involve this other independent coach into a more direct role so that your niece places less emphasis on her own coaches opinion should this coach actually send the email, or the email leaks.
The coach involved probably needs a psych evaluation, but it may not be the place of anyone involved in this particular situation to suggest.
HOWEVER, getting the opinion of a general psychologist would be helpful in trying to evaluate the why behind this coach’s behavior.
Making assumptions about the motives her is unwise, because being wrong has fairly massive ramifications for everyone.
My niece just got a four year full ride to BYU in softball.
Going to these lengths is absolutely justified, and provides the fairest recourse for all involved while preserving your nieces chances at a scholarship. Coaches have, in many cases, far too much influence on whether a kid gets that shot.
This situation screams of that, and the motives may be genuine, or the result of the coach struggling to resolve issues he or she is having with respect to your niece, or with other parties in his or her life.
Be stepwise, keep your cool, and most importantly, get an independent coach to come in and verify your nieces talent level and preserve her confidence in it as soon as you can.
coach is a lesbian, girl isn’t interested. retaliation.
Frankly, yes it is. “Life isn’t fair” is the most valuable lesson a kid can learn. The fact that most ppl are two faced sneaks who’ll pitch a fit when their little ego gets disturbed is another.
Sooner kiddo learns both of those the better she’ll be equipped for a REAL life in the REAL world, not a kiddie fantasyland.
“Life is tough, wear a helmet.”
first do nothing right now. Start video tapping games, and if you can practices (incognito). Once you have the video then go to the powers that be.
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