Posted on 08/11/2013 7:34:24 PM PDT by Morgana
Washington, DC (LiveAction) — Are you sick and tired of looking at stupid baby faces? Does the thought of people loving someone more than themselves make you sick to your stomach? Is the very suggestion of selfless responsibility inherent in the image of an adorable, smiling baby utterly repugnant to you?
If you answered “Yes!” to any of the above questions, have I got the app for you!
Unbaby.me is a Chrome extension (I have no idea what that means) that removes those pesky baby photos from your Facebook news feed. According to their website, all you have to do is click a button and refresh Facebook, and voilà! “Now you don’t have to look at all your friends’ annoying kids!”
I didn’t install the app myself because I know me, and I would not be able to uninstall it. But the website explains that through computer magic, Unbaby detects baby photos and replaces them with a more palatable replacement of your choosing, such as “cats or pugs.” On the Unbaby home page, this concept is illustrated by a grid of adorable baby photographs which turn into other, more awesome stuff when you mouse over them, such as half-naked chicks with back tattoos (don’t worry: it’s in black and white, so it’s artistic), cars, puppies, bacon, and sea otters. (I think that is a sea otter. If it’s not, I’m sure a helpful reader will call me a moron in the comments.)
I don’t know about you, but I find it hard not to gag when I’m scrolling through Facebook looking at important stuff like “Game of Thrones” memes, pictures of people’s sushi, and duck-face selfies, when all of a sudden I am interrupted by a photo of somebody’s dumb baby. I mean, like, who cares about your baby? What did it do today, crap and scream? Oh, wonder of wonders! Everyone totally cares.
It’s like, don’t these people even know that there’s a world outside their own stupid kid? Like they’re the first person who ever experienced a unique and irreplaceable human life grow inside them and then be born into the world and begin to discover it. Uh, whoooo cares? It’s not like a quadrabrazilian things had to happen in the history of time and space for this one particular human to be born. It’s not like it’s interesting that a brand-new, exquisite child is learning to explore the universe and love other people. I am TRYING to look at suggestions of Pages I should Like! (Ooh, I like bacon! I’ll Like Bacon.)
This is also cool: the same people who can block babies can block whatever else you don’t want to see! Photos of food, beaches, weddings, Jesus – you name it, they can replace it with whatever you’d rather look at: cats, basketball players, more bacon…
CLICK LIKE IF YOU’RE PRO-LIFE!
If you wanna be like all the other repressed conformists and just breed like an animal; just procreate because it’s, like, I don’t know, expected of you; or because you have some innate human urge to bring forth life and experience the indescribable spiritual blessing of parenthood, I guess I just totally feel sorry for you. I’m gonna actually DO SOMETHING with my life. I have ACTUAL DREAMS, okay? I’m gonna be the best professional skateboarder/Etsy crafter/freelance graphic designer this world has ever seen.
And while I’m out here living the dream, excuuuuse me if I don’t want to look at the sticky, smelly baby that’s holding you back with all those grody needs that aren’t yours. Ewww.
Facebook is so much better once you don’t have to see evidence of anyone else’s most profound love, joy, and hope.
Can this be configured to only block pictures of infants less beautiful and perfect than my grandchildren?
“Can this be configured to only block pictures of infants less beautiful and perfect than my grandchildren?”
Now now Ivan don’t get prideful. All babies are beautiful and perfect.
Really all we need is an app to block pictures of Honey Boo Boo and I’d be happy!!
I have an account but I believe Facebook has about jumped the shark anyhow.
:) cutest buddy ever! Wish I were so lucky! (He has an ‘Uncle Billy and he’ll never know it! :)
I don’t get it. Why would I not want to look at cute baby pictures?
I like Kristen Hatten's articles over at LifeSite News. She's a reformed liberal and totally gets the mindset...this is spot on.
Personally, I love seeing pics of people's wee sprites. The only ones I have a little bit of difficulty with are the ones posted by the "friend" who has had two abortions. I struggle a bit with that one. It doesn't seem quite fair that she got to throw away two, keep three, and I get none. But that's my issue, and I have to admit... the three she kept are awfully cute.
What does this have to do with being pro-life?
I oppose abortion in all cases and I also don’t give a damn about other people’s kids. That’s not to say that a browser extension like this has any merit, but the fact that people completely (and willingly) lose their entire identity once they become parents is not something to be celebrated.
What a cute baby boy!
Do they have one to remove LOLcats? That’s what I’m sick of.
HA!~Love it!~the writer does have a point ~ pics do eat up a lot of bandwidth, not digital, but display. If only the “Mommies” would resize the little darling images!
There’s a much simpler solution: Say NO to Facebook.
What an adorable face! Thanks for the post.
Hopefully, we will again understand the true Meaning of Life/and the Joy of the Natural Family, which is incredibly hard work work to sustain, nowadays, when every thing in culture is deliberately attacking it-—but family/kids are so worth every minute.
Life has always been hard-—just people can’t persevere because they have been so coddled in childhood and made dependent by being in institutions their whole childhood where everything is dictated/controlled. Initiative and Individuality is smothered as the “group think” is inculcated by peer pressure.
Most kids of today are very unlike the kids (Lincoln/Mark Twain/Westinghouse) who were free to explore the real world-—learn from their own mistakes, and learn from parents/uncles, instead of copying the immature behaviors of peers, and who were given responsibilities at very young ages. The Bible was read regularly in their house. They were trained to think for themselves, be responsible for their actions, respect their elders, and it instilled Common Sense and Virtue which is sadly missing in too many children today.
Now if they can modify the app to block diaper commercials on TV they’ll be billionaires.
Okay now, don’t you think we are past due for an anti-porn app and an anti-erectile dysfunction commercial app?
It would make more sense to only block the ones that are more beautiful than yours.
That way yours are always the most beautiful out there and none of God's precious young ones need be blocked....
Facebook is so much better when you don't go there at all.
My babies had cheeks like that.
Concerns about Facebook always make me shake my head a bit, but I guess it’s a big part of a lot of people’s lives.
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